The interplay between mind and body

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Keywords

 Resilience - Emotions - Perception - Emotional Energy - Self-care - Energy Balance

In this episode of Resilience Unravelled Denise Schonwald, a mental health specialist, discusses her holistic approach to patient care which emphasises the interplay between mind and body. Denise explains how emotions can manifest physically and highlights the role of perception in shaping experiences.

Denise also explores the concept of resilience, suggesting that suffering can contribute to its development and discusses the concept of energy, the role of emotions in emotional energy and the importance of self-care for energy balance.

Main topics

  • The interplay between mind and body

  • How certain emotions, such as guilt or grief, can manifest physically in the body.

  • The role of perception in shaping our experiences

  • Grief as a transformative force in life

  • How suffering can contribute to the development of resilience

  • The concept of energy in relation to emotions and physical wellbeing

  • How joy and gratitude contribute to resilience

  • The importance of self-care to maintain energy balance through exercise or relaxation

  • Understanding how high energy frequency energy is crucial for wellbeing

Action items

Grief and loss. A male perspective.

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Keywords

Resilience – Grief - Loss - Self-care – Support – Moving Forward

In this episode of Resilience Unravelled Jarie Bolander, a sales and marketing consultant, discusses his book "Ride or Die," which is about his late wife Jane's battle with leukaemia and the simple to say yet hard to live up to meaning of "in sickness and in health . . . till death do us part."

Jarie talks about the importance of resilience in overcoming challenging circumstances and shares his experiences as a caregiver. Ha also emphasises the need for self-care and highlights the support he received from his loved ones during this difficult time. His book Ride or Die offers a unique male perspective on grief and loss, providing comfort to others who may be going through similar situations.

Main topics

  • Using resilience to get through challenging circumstances.

  • Learning to be comfortable with the unknown

  • Taking incremental steps forward.

  • Leaning into the discomfort and making decisions to move forward.

  • The importance of self-care for caregivers

  • Writing as a way to process experiences and cope with grief.

  • The lack of resources and support for men experiencing similar loss.

Action Items

 Jarie’s book is "Ride or Die: Loving Through Tragedy, a Husband's Memoir."

   You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information here. Our upcoming guest list is also available along with our previous blogs.
Find out more about our innovative Resilience and Burnout solutions.   

Win the now

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Keywords

Resilience – Failure – Time blocking – Reflection – Intentionality - Self-care – Win the Now

In this episode of Resilience Unravelled Dr Eric Recker a dentist and speaker, emphasises self-care and living in the moment to overcome past traumas. Eric suggests time-blocking, reflection, and journaling to enhance well-being and prevent overwhelm and also advocates prioritising self-care and strategic planning with intentionalit to inspire individuals to appreciate each moment on the journey towards resilience and personal growth.

Main topics

  • Learning to live in the present moment to combat a false sense of urgency.

  • The importance of conscious reflection and of finding wins in daily moments.

  • Setting aside time for planning and long-term goals and emphasising the value of time blocking.

  • Focusing on what a win looks like in short time intervals, such as 15 minutes, to stay present.

  • Implementable strategies to live and lead at optimal levels.

  • Realising important life lessons to help live in the moment.

Timestamps

1: Introduction to Eric's Work (00:02 - 02:15)
2: Overcoming Challenges and Finding Joy (02:41 - 06:58)
3: Finding Wins in Daily Life (12:38 - 15:30)
4: Techniques for Living in the Present (20:21 - 22:15)
5: Balancing Present Moment with Planning (23:01 - 24:08)
6: Eric's Work and Resources (24:32 - 26:41)

Action items

You can find out more about Eric at www.ericrecker.com where you can try the free five day Knock Back Burnout Challenge
Eric’s book is "The False Sense of Urgency: How to Win the Now"

  You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information here. Our upcoming guest list is also available along with our previous blogs.
Find out more about our innovative Resilience and Burnout solutions.   

Contagious burnout?

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No one is immune to burnout. It’s something that can affect people across every sector and discipline, and it’s also something that's on the rise.

The classic signs of burnout, mental exhaustion, disengagement, negativity, cynicism and reduced productivity are well established and, although we generally think about it as something that affects individuals, it can be contagious!  Contagious burnout refers to the phenomenon where an individual’s burnout symptoms are spread to their colleagues or team members. This type of burnout contagion usually happens after there has been some sort of organisational change such as large-scale redundancies, cuts to budgets, policy reviews or alterations to the management team. In the face of such change, employees may experience feelings of fear, confusion, frustration or anger.

If leaders do not address this, burnout may develop in team members who work closely together which can impact the entire team's wellbeing and productivity. It can also create a culture where working long hours and sacrificing personal time is normalised, creating pressure for others to do to do the same and further contributing to the spread of burnout within the team.

To prevent contagious burnout, it’s essential to prioritise self-care, encourage open communication within the team, and ensure that workload and responsibilities are distributed evenly. Employers can also provide resources for employees to manage stress and offer support for those experiencing burnout. By addressing burnout early and proactively, teams can create a culture of wellbeing and prevent burnout from spreading.

Contagious burnout is incredibly disruptive and costly for both the individual and organisation. For the employee, it can lead to presenteeism, absenteeism and a variety of physical symptoms. For the organisation it can mean high staff turnover, lower productivity and ultimately reduced profitability.  Whether looking at contagious burnout from a corporate or individual perspective, the need should be to focus on strategies that will have a deeper impact and create lasting cultural change.

Manic Mondays?

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We've all been there. Waking up on a Monday morning and realising the weekend wasn't quite long enough to recover from the stress of the previous working week. If you've ever had similar feelings, the latest emerging workplace trend may well be something that might appeal to you.

Bare Minimum Monday is intended to lower all the feelings of anxiety and stress about the upcoming working week.  These start to build on a Sunday afternoon so the idea is to focus on your own mental health and wellness by giving yourself space and a sense of calm to better navigate your first day back to work.  Doing “the bare minimum” of what needs to be done on a Monday (along with whatever else you want to do) means you are better able to focus on larger or more complex tasks on your other working days.

The idea comes from TikTok creator Marisa Jo Mayes who sees it as a form of self-care and a way to fight back against the feelings of overwhelm, exhaustion work-related stress. By prioritising the self and avoiding stressors, better outcomes are achieved, there is a positive impact on employee wellbeing by protecting mental health and employees are happier and healthier in the long term.

Recent work trends such as the Great Resignation and Quiet Quitting have shown that employees are considering how their work impacts their mental health far more but Bare Minimum Monday would seem to be at odds with the classic models of self-care. These tend to be built on meaningful engagement, not avoiding or ignoring challenges and building ways to thrive. If employees are just doing the bare minimum, or getting the ‘Sunday Scaries’ it could be a sign of disengagement, which leads to the question, if you need to disengage from a job to cope with it, is it really the right job?

Expecting employees to be at the top of their game 100% of the time is unrealistic. We all have good days and bad days and its certain that there will be times when we are more productive and produce better quality work. Whilst it may be tempting to do as little as possible on Mondays to avoid stress, this approach may not be the most effective in the long run. It's important to find a balance between minimising stress and meeting work responsibilities. Instead of doing as little as possible, prioritising your tasks and finding ways to work more efficiently may be a better way to manage Manic Mondays.

 

Managing Financial Stress with 8 Budgeting and Self-Care Tips by Katie Pierce

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When it comes to money, everyone can have varying goals, needs, and priorities. But one thing everyone can all agree on is that managing your finances can be one of the most stressful things you can do, especially if you’re not sure what to do or how to get out of debt, save money or make more.

There are a lot of things that can contribute to financial stress, but there are also just as many things you can do in order to manage it and make sure it doesn’t get out of hand.

How do you deal with financial stress?

Financial stress is a natural part of life, but it can be managed with the right mindset and practices. With enough patience and discipline, you can develop strategies for managing your finances that will help you achieve the financial stability you want. Here are some tips to help you manage your finances and reduce stress:

Set financial goals.

Setting financial goals is a great way to manage your finances and reduce stress. Having goals can help you focus on what’s important, which can make it easier to make decisions about spending, saving, and investing. It also gives you something specific to work toward, which in turn can improve your self-esteem and sense of security.

As you set your goals, be sure to make them specific and measurable. This will help you track your progress toward achieving them and make it easier to determine if you’re on the right track or if you need to make adjustments along the way.

Improve your financial literacy.

Financial literacy is the ability to use financial knowledge and skills to make sound decisions about the money. It’s a vital skill that can help you manage your money and make the most of your financial resources. The more you know about money, the better equipped you’ll be to manage and take control of your finances.

A little education can go a long way towards an overall better financial literacy since it will help you learn to recognize opportunities for saving and investing, avoid costly mistakes with credit cards or loans, and plan for major purchases like buying a home.

Automate your savings and investments.

David Bach, author of “The Automatic Millionaire,” recommends automating your savings and investments so that you don’t have to think about them. He says that this approach can help you build wealth faster and more effectively than if you rely on willpower alone for investing and budgeting.

By setting up automatic contributions from your paycheck into retirement accounts, for example, you won’t be tempted to spend the money before it goes into your account. This approach is especially helpful if you have a hard time sticking to your budget or saving money. It will also help you avoid making rash investment decisions that could cost you in the long run.

Get a financial advisor.

A financial advisor can help you create a plan for your money that’s tailored to your personal goals and unique situation. They can also provide unbiased advice on the best way to achieve those goals, whether it’s investing, saving, or paying down debt. Financial advisors can also act as a resource for you as you work to manage your money.

They can help you make the most of your finances and give you the tools and knowledge to take control of your financial future. This way, you can feel confident that you’re taking the right steps to make sure your money is working for you instead of against you.

Invest in your well-being.

Financial stress can take a toll on your health, so it’s important to take the time to find ways to manage your stress levels through proper self-care and mental awareness. This can mean taking time out of your day to exercise, eat right, and get enough sleep.

By taking care of your physical and mental well-being, you’ll be better able to manage your finances and reduce any stress caused by it. Remodeling your brain for happiness and self-care will also help you better navigate financial challenges and meet financial goals.

Create an emergency fund.

It’s important to have an emergency fund that you can use in case of an unplanned expense or a loss of income. This can help you avoid taking on debt or using credit cards, which can put you at risk of falling into a cycle of debt and repaying larger sums than you borrowed.

The amount of money you need in your emergency fund will depend on your expenses and financial situation. Experts recommend that you have at least three months’ worth of personal living expenses saved up in case of an emergency, with six months or more being ideal.

Create a budget prioritizing your needs.

A budget will help you make choices about how to spend your money. It can also help you identify areas where you’re spending more than necessary, which may be contributing to your financial problems.

A good budget is flexible enough that it allows you to put aside money for savings and unexpected expenses while still allowing you to meet your basic needs. This can help you feel more in control of your finances, which can be especially helpful if you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed by debt or financial insecurity.

Find activities to de-stress.

In addition to focusing on your well-being, finding hobbies and activities to de-stress can help you feel calmer, more relaxed, and more able to cope with stressful situations. A fun way to do so is through gaming.

Whether it's through casual mobile games like word games or more immersive online games you can play with friends, playing games can help you take a break from the stress of your financial situation, and find some much-needed fun. In addition, there are lots of games available that can help you learn new things and improve your cognitive skills, which can be a great way to keep your mind active and healthy.

Final Thoughts

Although money can be a source of stress, it doesn’t have to be. By being intentional and finding a balanced lifestyle that focuses on financial literacy and self-care, you can take control of your finances and feel empowered to make the most of what you have. And although there may be plenty more ways you can manage financial stress, these tips are some of the key fundamentals that will get you started on the right path towards financial wellness and stability.

Guest Blog Author

Katie Pierce is a teacher-slash-writer who loves telling stories to an audience, whether it’s bored adults in front of a computer screen or a bunch of hyperactive 4-year-olds. Writing keeps her sane (most of the time) and allows her to enjoy some quiet time in the evening before she walks into a room of screaming kids (all of whom she loves dearly) the next morning.

Time management for a stress-free Christmas

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Christmas is meant to be a time to relax and enjoy ourselves but it can be very stressful. A recent study by Harvard Medical School found that 62% of respondents described their stress level as “very or somewhat” raised during the Christmas holiday. A further study from the National Alliance of Mental Illness reported that 64% of people were already struggling with their mental health said the holiday exacerbated their condition.

Part of the problem is that people have unrealistically high expectations for the Christmas season. We all want it to be as perfect and magical as the songs and films tell us it should be. But with trips to the supermarket, gifts to buy, family to contact, cards to be written, presents to wrap, decorations to put up, meals to prepare and homes to be prepared, there’s just too much to do! And that's before we add in the financial pressures facing everyone at the moment.

So is it possible to manage stress levels at Christmas?  Well, some preparation in the run-up can help and introducing a few time management strategies will help you take control and stop you feeling you’re being driven like one of Santa's reindeer!

1. Choose for yourself

Make a list of things you have to do to prepare for the holiday and the things you want to do. If you end up with December being a mad whirl of non-stop Christmas preparations and activities then stand back and consider if you’re doing things because you want to or because you think you have to.  Give yourself more time to enjoy the things you like by cutting out some of the ones you really don’t have to do.

2. Start early

Christmas activities don’t have to be crammed into the week before. You can decorate your home for the holiday season in November if you want and buy Christmas gifts at any time of year. Stretching out your Christmas activities over a longer period of time can really help reduce stress. Christmas decorations, cards and gift wrap, are often available at discounted prices in the week after Christmas so why not buy them then, put them away and take it even easier next year!

3. Get help.

Who says that you have to everything yourself?  Use the gift-wrapping services that many shops provide. Assign some tasks to other family members. By using the time management strategies of outsourcing and delegation you’ll lighten your workload and your mood.

4. Do it online.

You don't have to take the time to drive anywhere to shop if you don't want to. Reduce stress by shopping and buying Christmas gifts online or if you do actually enjoy hitting the shops, make a list then check availability and compare costs online before you leave home. It also helps to pre-plan and coordinate your journeys so you can combine running errands with Christmas shopping.

5. Make it fun

Everyone finds some holiday season activities that have to be done boring. Why not try to make whatever it is you find boring more enjoyable by making it special and different. Have some friends around for a Christmas baking event or get the family together to decorate the tree and put up decorations.

6. Look after yourself.

We all know how we should take care of ourselves – get enough sleep, eat the right things, exercise and drink plenty of water. It’s just harder in the Christmas season when these always a lot more food and alcohol around. Try to find time to exercise each day - put on a fitness DVD, invite everyone for a brisk walk or organise a team game you all can take part in.  Don’t keep saying “yes” to everything that’s asked of you. This only builds up stress levels. It’s okay to say no.

7. Relax and enjoy.

Whether its taking the time to drive around to enjoy the displays of Christmas lights, attending a carol concert or simply catching up with friends, doing something you enjoy will see your holiday stress drop considerably.

8. Be realistic

Over-exceeding your capacity will only end in frustration. One of the most important and practical steps to take is to lower your expectations. Don’t expect too much from others or yourself and realise that everyone has their own nature, talents and capacities. By understanding that they, like you, cannot be anything other than who they are, you will avoid disappointment.

9. Stop work

Working from home or on a hybrid-working pattern can make it difficult to walk away but its essential to set some boundaries. Put the laptop in a cupboard, turn off your email notifications and forget about work for the holiday.

10. Let it go

Remember, everything passes and Christmas is only one day Take a deep breath and let it go. Things will return to normal very soon.

A practical approach to leadership. The Zen Executive

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Jim Blake is the CEO of Unity World Headquarters, a spiritual, non-denomination, non-profit founded in 1889 in Kansas City, Missouri. It helps people of all faiths and cultures apply positive spiritual principles in their daily lives. He had previously held numerous executive positions in the corporate world, including as Director of Customer Operations for Landis+Gyr, a global leader in the utility industry, and Vice President of Products and Technology for Rhythm Engineering.

Jim is based in Missouri which is known for its weather threats including tornado’s and recently the state has been experiencing 95 - 100 degree heat. There is an on-going threat from nature whether its fire, snow or storms and you need resilience to deal with these sudden changes in weather. Part of being resilient is acceptance of where you are and what may or may not happen. Establishing the proper mind set for being prepared is important, as preparation is the key to eliminating fear. If we accept the risks and prepare properly then you can reduce the fear and anxiety that might come with threats from the weather and from anything else.

Acceptance is a vital skill of understanding. Taking the stoic approach when things happen - what you do about them is the thing that makes the difference. Some people come out of adverse events well whilst others are completely defined by it, sometimes for the rest of their life. Acceptance is also an important part of healing. Our emotional posture and thoughts about these things dictate our experience of it. Something happens in your life and its how you handle that through your thoughts and emotions that determines your experience of that event. Accept and move though it and you’ll still have the rest of the day to be fine or hold on to it and let it impact your decision-making and how you interact with people for the rest of the day. It’s an important self-awareness skill.

Jim’s undergraduate degree was in IT coding but although he enjoyed it he found it to be isolating. In the early 1990s IT companies were moving away from main frames and mid ranges to PCs. With new devices and the Internet coming on line Jim took the opportunity to move into network communications. It was more social and more big picture and so he took his career in that direction. Since then he has led teams in general IT, application support, coding and network development until in 2016 he joined Unity World Headquarters as CEO.

Leading a non-profit is a very complex role perhaps more so than a commercial organisation. Jim’s background in programming and project management work formed a great base and he had learned huge amount from the leading global organisations he had worked in. The main things he had taken away were their commitment to innovation, their dedication to new product development and their focus on bringing on talent. That innovation served him well at Unity and gave him a really powerful way to use his experience and apply a whole new set of thinking in how it does it does its work.

Unity sits under an umbrella of teachings called new thoughts from the late 1800’s. These ancient principals that were mainly taken from the east and are traditions based on spiritual principals related to emotions, thoughts and how these create the experience you have as your life unfolds.  All of these new thoughts, areas or traditions work on a practical level not as a lot of dogma. Unity didn’t want to be classified as a religious organisation because it wanted it’s teaching to continue to evolve over time. Through its website it provides a lot of resources that are practical with sections on healing, grief, addiction and other everyday problems but looking at them from a spiritual perspective that takes its truths from all of the major traditions from the east.

Jim’s book, The Zen Executive, is based on the experiences he had during his corporate career. The first section is about self care - getting in touch with how your feelings and emotions impact your experiences and why and how you can better care for yourself. The better we do this in mind body and spirit, the better we perform and the better we show up.  When we show up stressed and angry, it affects our decision- making and the relationships around us.

The second part of the book is about the intersection between business and life and the practices that make people feel that they cannot combine their spiritual and work lives. Jim feels they can be combined so you can bring your whole self to work. The last part is about leadership and understanding leadership from a new perspective so you bring compassion, empathy and wellbeing for yourself and those you serve with to bear. There is the idea that you cant be good to people and that you have to treat them with fear intimidation, command and control. Jim thinks that if you do it the other way the results are even better. When a person feels safe, heard and appreciated, they are far more productive than if they are in fear and stress around their work.

Some people confuse the message about being safe, heard and appreciated as being soft, woolly and non-accountable but those things are not true. People still need to be measured, to show they are doing a good job. They need to be encouraged and have their potential understood and maximised. Leadership is not just about letting people run riot. One of the major points in the book is that you can still hold people accountable but that you can do it in a way with compassion, respect and transparency so you bring out the best in their performance. People know when they are doing a good job and what they are capable of so it's the job of the leader to hold a lens up and say ‘you’re doing this and that's great but you could be doing more’. Some people find this threatening, challenging, bullying or patronising. That's their choice. The job of the leader is to see the potential and then help their employees to see it to.

Jim feels we need to bring our whole self to work and advocates that some of the things we do at work are in alignment with things that exist in our spiritual life such as compassion, empathy and deep listening. The idea that work just has to be work and that `I can t bring some of what I believe in terms of my own spirituality’. You don't have to put it on blast but Jim suggests we can bring a spiritual approach to our work and posture of service to what are doing and how we are doing it. We don't need to share the reasons and motivations that inspire us with everyone but we don't need to exclude them from the workplace either. Jim feels the way to do this is to bring the same spiritual posture we feel in our most comfortable setting to the office in how we treat people how we approach our work and how we endeavour to inspire others. By finding the why and then giving context you understand the meaning of the work you’re doing. You are linking work to meaning.

You can learn more about Jim at www.1amjimblake.com where there are details about his book “The Zen Executive”. You can find out more about Unity at http://www.uinty.org

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information here. Our upcoming guest list is also available along with our previous blogs.
Find out more about our innovative Resilience and Burnout solutions.

Choose your struggle. Conversations about mental health, substance abuse and addiction.

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Choose your struggle. Substance abuse, addiction and recovery.

Jay Shifman’s mission is to encourage difficult conversations and honest education around the issues of mental health, substance misuse, and addiction. A storyteller, speaker, podcaster, and event host, Jay entered recovery himself in 2010 after struggling with mental health and substance abuse problems for half a decade  following a misdiagnosis in his teens which left him addicted to prescription pills. Jay is now in long-term recovery and, through his company, Choose Your Struggle, works towards his two distinct goals, to end stigma and ensure that those who struggle receive the help they deserve.  

Jay feels that there are a huge number of people trying to deal with substance misuse and addiction but that they don’t talk about it because of the stigma that's attached to it. Talking about it and encouraging fact based education is the way to break down the stigma

Jay decided to get himself off prescription drugs. He spoke with his doctor who advised him to stay on the medication but Jay wanted to know what it was like living without the drugs in his life. He had already attempted suicide so he thought that things couldn't get any worse. It was a case of lets see what happens.

If Jay had been addicted to something like heroin he could have accessed a lot of help but there is not so much assistance for coming off prescription pills You have to trust yourself. Jay stayed with his grandmother who was very supportive whilst he undertook a four-month Step Down Detox Programme which reduced the amount drugs he took each day. It was very hard and very scary. Jay worked with a therapist who helped him get off safely because it needed to be done in a managed way. The failure rate for people who simply go ‘cold turkey’ is very high.

Making the decision to get off the drugs is just the beginning of the journey. The journey itself tests both mental health and resilience. Jay feels it took five years before his physical and mental health returned.  This can be a problem when going into rehab. If you haven’t treated the underlying issues then they will resurface as soon as you go back to your ‘normal’ life. Jay thinks that it’s a two stage process – the first part is to get off the drugs so you can start to feel what it’s like to be yourself again and the second part is focusing on yourself so you can understand why were you struggling, what were the underlying issues you had and what you need to do to take care of yourself.

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about Jay here. Our previous podcasts, upcoming guest list and previous blogs are also available.

For more information about Jay and his work , visit: www.jayshifman.com or find him on your favourite social media platform.

Jay’s podcast is Choose your struggle

Raising awareness of Early Onset Alzehimer's

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In  2010 Pat Moffett wrote his book ‘Ice Cream in the Cupboard’ about the true story of caring for his late wife Carmen who had early-onset Alzheimer’s. At the time Pat was still pursuing his long-term career in international logistics but after he retired in 2017 he had more time to devote to raising awareness of the illness. In 2017, by chance, he met another author on a plane and they exchanged books. Two days later Pat received a phone call from his new contact who told him that Pat’s story should be made into a movie.

There is little difference between Early Onset Alzheimer’s and Alzheimer’s, but many early onset patients still retain the physical strength associated with a younger person. This can put their caregiver in dangerous situations because Alzheimer patients can become very angry and agitated which can lead to violent behaviour. Alzheimer’s also accelerates more quickly in younger people and the medications used are generally more effective in older patients.

In Carmen’s case, Pat first noticed that they had started arguing a lot. Things had been quite busy so he decided to take her to Puerto Rico for a holiday. They checked in to their hotel and went out for dinner. Pat was looking across from the verandah of the restaurant and when he turned around Carmen hit him. She then ran out of the restaurant. When he caught up with her she was still very angry but they got a taxi and went back to the hotel. She then went straight to sleep.

Pat really didn't know what was wrong so he was really surprised when a while later she came out to the terrace where he was sitting and said she was really hungry and when were they going to eat. She couldn’t remember anything that had happened. Pat was so concerned that he got a flight home for them the next day.

When they got home things seemed to level off and go back to normal. She wouldn’t go to a doctor but after going food shopping one day Pat realised that Carmen had put the ice cream in the cupboard rather than the fridge. Pat knew he had to get her to see a doctor but the situation was taken out of his hands soon afterwards her employers realised there was a problem and suggested she get tested. She failed the test and came home that evening and told Pat that she had a ‘touch of Alzheimer’s’.

Pat highlights how importance it is for carers to take care of themselves otherwise the disease claims two victims. Some friends and family aren't so supportive when they find out someone they know has Alzheimer’s so often it comes down to hired caregivers.  Pat found a lady who he had experience dealing with Alzheimer’s patients and he thought he could go back to work but within 5 days Carmen had punched the caregiver and run away from her. Other helpers followed but the same problem occurred. Pat felt it was better to try and keep his job so the next step was to try daycare. He found a centre close to their home. It was very expensive but it worked well for a couple of weeks but he was then called from work as Carmen had punched a 90-year-fellow patient.

Luckily a legal case was not pursued but Carmen wasn’t allowed to go back to the daycare centre. It was then suggested that she be hospitalised so she could be tested to find out if it might be possible to use anti psychotic drugs to calm her down. She was monitored 24 hours a day and after being in hospital for three weeks Pat was told there were only three drugs that might help her and that there use might be limited. The drugs were so strong that they needed to be monitored constantly so the recommnedation was that she to go straight into 24/7 care. Whist in full time nursing care Carmen still had violent episodes but eventually, after nine years, her body started to fail and she died. Pat felt guilty because in many ways he had wanted it to come to an end because Carmen wasn’t the person he knew anymore.

Early on in the process of looking after Carmen, Pat realised he would need support from people who would understand what he was dealing with. He found a local support group but everyone was much older than him and didn't understand Carmen’s violent behaviour. He realised there was nothing for the carers of Early Onset Alzheimer’s patients so he started a new group with a social worker with regular meet ups for dinner whilst professional carers looked after their loved ones

It is thought that you can defer the onset of some Alzheimer’s though diet, stress reduction etc. There is a genetic risk though. Pats wife Carmen, her brother and two sisters were all were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in their 50’s and died in their 60s. When he tried to track back, Pat found out that Carmen’s father who had been an alcoholic, had also suffered from bouts of forgetful behaviour which at the time was put down to his alcoholism.

The motivation for Pat’s book came from the fact that he simply hadn’t realised that Alzheimer’s could affect people at such a young age. Consequently, many of the caregivers are very young themselves so they became the drive and inspiration to get the story out both nationally and internationally.

 You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about Pat here. Our previous podcasts, upcoming guest list and previous blogs are also available.

You can find out more about Pat and Ice Cream in the Cupboard at pat.moffett.com

 

Losing the illusion. Dealing with Bells Palsy.

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The latest episode in our Resilience Unravelled series has now been released, Resilience Unravelled – Losing the illusion. Dealing with Bells Palsy.

In this episode, Dr. Russell Thackeray talks to Barbie Wharton who is based in British Columbia. Barbie is a speaker, writer, dance event boss, Mum and survivor of Bell’s Palsy.

Barbie started dancing with her sister when she was in the 5th Grade and learnt ballet, jazz and tap. In fact, her Mother ended up buying the dance studio because they both spent so much time there! She then went on to business school and had a career in upper management before leaving after having her two boys. She then started a team apparel company with her sister and also worked with her sister and mother for 20 years producing a number of dance competitions across Western Canada.  The theme at all events was “You Belong Here” - everyone is special, everyone belongs. In 2020 the business had to close due to Covid-19 but the pandemic gave her some time to reflect and she realised that she wasn’t ready to let the dance world go - that she needed to get back up and try again! She is now starting her own company, B1 Dance Productions, where she will initially she be running a couple of small events in Vancouver.

Barbie’s resilience had really been tested in 2015 when she woke up with Bells Palsy, a condition that causes a temporary weakness or paralysis of the muscles in the face. It can occur when the nerve that controls the facial muscles becomes inflamed, swollen, or compressed and it causes one side of your face to droop or become stiff.  In Barbie’s case, it was very sudden although she had been feeling a bit run down. She just woke up on a Monday morning and was getting the kids ready for school when she realised one side of her face looked different. Her resting face was fine and she thought she had a sinus infection so went to a clinic where they told her to see a doctor asap! Her doctor prescribed steroids and anti-virals but Barbie tried a lot of other things such as acupuncture, acupressure, essential oils, prolo therapy, fascial stretch therapy as well as seeing a naturopath.

She also did a lot of research it and found Louse Hay, one of the founders of the self-help movement, whose idea was that the root cause of Bell's Palsy was about denying emotions like anger so that when emotional release is denied, the anger appears as facial paralysis. Barbie felt that in her case, developing Bells Palsy was about not using her voice to give her opinion or even not to think about what her opinion was. She wasn’t speaking up and using her voice and was letting other people’s idea of what was picture perfect affect her. She needed to stop and say this is what I think. Barbie was trying to be everything to everyone, the perfect mum, perfect partner with the perfect house and the perfect life which was exhausting. She needed to lose her illusion of what her life should look like.

At the moment Barbie’s recovery is about 85% but each day is different. It’s also different for each person who suffers with Bells Palsy. Some people find it goes away completely whilst others have to deal with it in the longer term. It can be a very traumatising and emotionally terrifying thing to happen so because there is not a lot of information available she decided to set up Bellspalsytalk.com a community where people can come together and talk to other people who are going through the same things.

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about Barbie here. Our previous podcast episodes and upcoming guest list are also available.

Our full blog archive is also available.

You can find out more about Barbie at barbiewharton.com or at bellspalsytalk