Making conflict positive.

Workplaces are a prime breeding ground for conflict. It’s almost inevitable that when people with different goals, opinions, and attitudes work together, insecurities, personality clashes, misunderstandings, breakdowns in communication and competitive instincts all emerge. But, whatever the reason for it, differing viewpoints show that an organisation has diversity, innovation and risk at its core and a culture where people are actively interested.

Most people see conflict as a negative. It’s something that’s hostile, frustrating, and uncomfortable, with a “win or lose” outcome. It’s feared and something to avoid when in fact it’s a normal and natural part of life.  In the workplace, its often subjective - something that might offend or frustrate one person, doesn’t worry another - because workplaces are made up of people who in all probability would never otherwise meet. It’s unlikely they will always agree and share the same goals but, it is possible to use those tensions in a positive way, to work with differences rather than against them.

Effectively managed, conflict can be a learning experience which can stimulate creativity and produce different perspectives and ideas that lead to innovative problem-solving.  Conflict resolution can lead to improved interpersonal and communication skills, a more positive and supportive environment where trust and team dynamics are strengthened and opportunities for personal growth and self-reflection. Unresolved though, conflict can quickly escalate and lead to the disintegration of relationships and teamwork, the removal of goodwill and the loss of areas of common ground. There is also the detrimental financial effect with increased costs in employee turnover, time wastage, increased absenteeism and health or stress-related claims.

Conflict needs to be managed in a way that harnesses the passion people feel about their work. Organisations often aim for the elimination of conflict which means that managers are less skilled at dealing with its emotional aspects so focus on avoiding it. If managers are empowered to see conflict as a core part of a vibrant culture and given the skills, training, and support to recognise, address and manage it, they will be able to gain the benefits from it. Whether it’s through a conflict resolution strategy, such as open communication, active listening, and mediation, an investigation or process, people need to work through the issues, clear the air, and then see how they can go forwards together.

Workplace conflict can be distressing, disruptive, time consuming and expensive but, organisations need the positive outcomes conflict can bring - it’s just a case of learning how to manage and harness its potential.

Ambiverts as leaders

Generally, people are thought to be either introverts or extroverts although most us sit somewhere along this spectrum. Whilst introverts enjoy peace and reflection and may be happier working on their own, extroverts thrive on being around people, engaging with others and enjoying social connection.

If though you possess both traits and can naturally shift your behaviour depending on the environment you’re in then you might be seen as an ambivert. Ambiverts have a balance of both introverted and extroverted personality traits so they may enjoy socialising and being around people, but also need time alone to recharge their batteries. They can be outgoing and assertive when needed, but also reflective and introspective when required. They are comfortable in a variety of social situations, but may also feel drained after extended periods of interaction.

They can also make good leaders and managers as they are adaptable to a variety of situations and can communicate effectively with different types of people. For example, they can be assertive and decisive when needed, but also listen to and empathise with their team members. They can balance the needs of the organisation with the needs of their team members, creating a positive work environment that encourages collaboration and productivity.

Ambivert leaders can also leverage their ability to connect with people to build strong relationships with stakeholders, clients, and employees, which can lead to better outcomes for the organisation. Additionally, they can be comfortable in both leading from the front and delegating tasks to others, which makes them well-rounded managers.

The downside is that ambivert leaders can sometimes struggle with decision-making because they may weigh both sides of an issue equally and find it difficult to choose a course of action. This can lead to delays in decision-making and inaction, which can be problematic in a fast-paced work environment. Another potential downside is that they can  sometimes struggle with prioritising their time and energy and, as they enjoy both socialising and spending time alone, they may find it challenging to balance their work and personal lives. Finally, possessing both introverted and extroverted traits, means they may need to adjust their leadership style depending on the situation so they may struggle to find a leadership style that works for them.

Overall, whilst there are potential downsides to ambivert leaders, these can be mitigated through self-awareness, effective time management, and a willingness to adapt their leadership style if and when needed.

Leadership skills for the smartest person in the room

Christian Espinosa is an entrepreneur, a cyber security engineer, a certified high-performance coach, a professor, and a lover of heavy metal music and spicy food. He’s also an Air Force veteran and Ironman triathlete. Christian used to value being the “smartest guy in the room,” only to realise that his greatest contribution to the fight against cybercrime is his ability to bring awareness to the issue through effective communication and leadership training. Christian is a speaker, coach, and trainer in the secure methodology, helping to make the smartest people in the room the best leaders in the field.

Christian has spent almost 30 years in cyber security, initially in the military before forming his own company in 2014.  He found that most of the problems he had in his company were not because his staff lacked technical skills or processes, frameworks or procedures, it was because they didn't have people skills. He was hiring staff because of their technical aptitude and not looking at the cultural fit or their interpersonal skills and this opened him up to the problem or challenge that faced the whole industry. He realised that this was a recurring problem and one he needed to solve in his organisation - to bring back people skills to compliment his staffs already high IQ.

Christian feels that a lot of people want to proliferate the idea that if you are super smart, rationally smart with a super high IQ that you don't have any people skills. This idea has been tolerated for so long that it has become mainstream and acceptable but like any other skill it is something you can learn. A lot of people who are super high IQ will brag about how smart they are but, if you are super smart, you should be able to learn people skills. Somehow though they are resistant to this, perhaps because it is outside their comfort zone

When he looked back at his own career Christian realised he was trying to be smarter than other people. He realised that he was part of the problem and thought that if he could improve people skills or emotional intelligence it would help him go further in his career. Additionally, when you own your own business you have to also manage your team and use a different skill set than just hands on the keyboard. With your own business you need to be very practical, show empathy and insight, be able to explain and communicate and deal with conflict. These are often referred to as emotional intelligence or soft skills but they are not soft skills, they are fundamental to leadership.

Christian feels there should be a programme around developing leadership skills that tie into people skills and emotional intelligence.  A lot of companies will take their best engineers or technicians and promote them to a leadership position without giving them any training  - they assume that because they were good in a technical role they’ll be good in a leadership role.

They are however two dramatically different skillsets. If you are going to promote someone to a management or leadership role there should be a lot of training and awareness that just because someone is good as an operator it doesn't mean they'll be good as a leader.  Christian feels there is a difference between leadership and management. Leadership is about leading yourself first and then leading and influencing others to accomplish something whilst management is about keeping everything on track and less about influencing people.

There is also a feeling that as we skill leaders up to be more sensible and rounded, somehow their rational side diminishes as we improve one the other falls away.  In the past technical staff wouldn't want to take a leadership role because their technical skills would reduce and they would become obsolete. This needs to change. The technical skills will still be there because they maintain the high rational intelligence but they are just adding the people skills. You can pick up the technical skills again if you need to but if you add well developed people skills you will be an awesome leader because its rare for someone to have both skill sets

There has also been an idea that if you promote your best technical or sales person and put them into a management role, it’s somehow seen as a lesser career. Perhaps this is because those skills are more transferable or easier to acquire but you can always fall back into your technical side if management doesn’t work out but these things are massively important in themselves

Cultural, life and people skills and emotional intelligence has an infinite shelf life. Technical skills though have a finite shelf life because there will be new technology and updates. From a investment of time perspective, it makes more sense to learn skills that are always going to be applicable in a broader spectrum, skills that will help you across everything otherwise you are pigeon holing yourself into one specific thing.  If you develop people skills then they will applicable for the rest of your life. Dealing with conflict or having crucial conversations will be situations that will play out for the rest of your life. That’s why they have an infinite shelf life. If you get better at a specific cyber security tool or a specific technical aspect at some point that thing will change and the skill set become obsolete.

The first thing Christian learned about emotional intelligence was the awareness that he was part of the problem. We all want to be understood, appreciated and significant and in the past he felt significant by knowing more, being faster and by achieving more but he realised once he had the awareness that he was causing conflict with relationships by always trying to outdo somebody. He was never able to belong to anything because he was always trying to achieve more than everybody else. Reflecting back on his own journey was pretty sobering but he now has awareness but the awareness needs to be actionable or it doesn't really matter – knowledge is not power unless you can do something with it.

We all have unique skill sets and the goal of a leader is to work harmoniously with those skills. A lot of this requires a baseline level in people skills. We don't need to develop everybody to the maximum but if you are going to collaborate, communicate and deal with conflict it helps if we have some tools especially if someone isn’t used to having these sort of conversations. If we can communicate effectively, we are working on the solutions to the challenges, which in turn help the overall organisation.

Christian’s book ‘The Smartest Person in the Room’ is available here or you can find out more able Christian at https://christianespinosa.com/

  You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information here. Our upcoming guest list is also available along with our previous blogs.
Find out more about our innovative Resilience and Burnout solutions.
 

The positive side of conflict

The word “conflict,” generally conjures up negative associations. It’s seen as hostile, frustrating, negative and uncomfortable with a “win or lose” outcome. Many people fear it, seeing it as something to avoid when in fact it’s a normal and natural part of our lives which, when handled correctly, can be very beneficial.

In the workplace conflict is almost inevitable when people with different goals, opinions, and attitudes work together. Feelings of insecurity, clashes of personality, misunderstandings, breakdowns in communication and competition for limited resources will all emerge in an environment where people care about the outcome. But whatever the reason for it, a sharing of differing viewpoints shows an organisation that has diversity, innovation and risk at its core and a vibrant culture where people are actively interested.

Unresolved though, conflict can quickly escalate and lead to the disintegration of relationships and teamwork, the removal of goodwill and the loss of areas of common ground or agreement. There is also a detrimental financial effect with increased costs in employee turnover, time wastage, increased absenteeism and health or stress-related claims.

Conflict needs to be resolved but it needs to be dealt with so the passion people feel about their work is harnessed and the work environment remains vibrant and healthy. Management fear and a lack of skills in this area means many managers are more focused on avoiding conflict rather than the benefits it can bring. The key to unlock this is to empower managers to see conflict as a core part of a vibrant culture and give them the skills and support needed to recognise and address potential conflict and then to positively manage it.

Handled correctly in the right setting, conflict can be very beneficial and produce new and creative solutions, improved teamwork and a better understanding of the situation and the people involved. There are definitely positive outcomes from conflict - it’s just a case of learning to manage it and harness its potential.

The Role of Psychological Safety

Stephan Wiedner is a psychological safety expert whose career has focused on developing sustainable high performance leaders, teams, and organisations.

Stephen’s interest in psychological safety spans twenty years and is based around his interest in psychology, technology and how to bring them together to help people live fulfilling lives and make teams and organisations more sustainable and effective over time.

Psychological safety is also important in schools as well. They are workplaces and places where its important for people to speak up because you want different opinions to be shared and debate and discussion to expand learning and knowledge. Reportedly there is currently an agenda to close down free speech and remove the ability to debate and disagree to protect us from ourselves. People often don’t realise that psychological safety isn’t about not talking about things - it’s about being safe to talk in a way that is acceptable to everybody.

The definition of psychological safety used by Stephen is from Amy Edmondson – ‘that psychological safety is a belief that you can share ideas concerns, mistakes etc within the work environment without the fear of reprimand’. That gives a subtle distinction that is critical and informed because its happening all the time. We’re constantly trying to manage our reputations and will refrain from speaking up because we don't want to look as if we’re going against the grain or by asking a question that we fear will make us look ‘stupid’. We are constantly protecting ourselves by withholding information.

There is a difference between explicit criticism and an inferred or implied reprimand. This is one of the challenges because we need resilient people and organisations who are able to have adult conversations where conflict creates the diversity you need to get innovation and energy flowing. Sometimes the organisation takes the rap for having people who aren’t resilient enough to have these types of conversations.

When we think about these challenging conversations our desire is to move towards politeness. Where there is a rupture within a team or where people don't necessarily agree, there is often a tension to get to a place where it is a little less uncomfortable, where it’s ‘nice’. We need to move not to ‘nice’ but to a place where we can generate fresh and new ideas, where we can have discussions that move the organisation, the team or a group of individuals to a new place, a new solution or a new way of doing things. This is what psychological safety is facilitating. It’s learning within a group environment - that is how we overcome any change in the world

The research Stephen is involved in shows that psychological safety is built on respect. The area he is focusing on is that of interpersonal skills - what are the specific interpersonal that lead to psychological safety within a team. Respect is very high on the list as is empathy and the desire or willingness to put yourself in someone else's shoes.  To start to consider how other people are looking at the world needs a certain level of curiosity and from a leader or manager and is also a demonstration of respect.

Respect is perhaps something we have forgotten how to do. There is a focus on self-care, self-respect, self-organisation and self-awareness and the Mecentric culture means we have forgotten how to collaborate well. The constant push for connection online is a completely different form of communication to that in the past and the immediate and long-term impact isn’t really known. A lot virtual relationships seem to be rather tenuous and seemingly not built on a sold foundation of respect or care but on transaction through the sharing a mutual dopamine hit so are they that meaningful?

Psychological safety is a very powerful thing but people can mistake it. It isn’t about agreeing. There is a need to foster psychological safety by getting peoples opinions and sharing what’s going on but leaders and managers some leaders seem to think that by asking you need to agree. What psychological safety is about is having the courage to speak up and the confidence that you know you’ll be heard. It's the job of the leader to give the confidence that they will be heard and listen to their input but it's the leader that still needs to make the decisions.

In high performance teams there is pressure and it doesn't always feel rosy and can be uncomfortable especially when people provide competing ideas. It’s fast moving, rigorous and challenging, an environment for growth, development and expansion on what exists. It’s all about an adult culture - treating people as adults and expecting to be treated as an adult. People can say what needs to be said because no-one is treating you like a child, patronising or over-parenting you. It’s about establishing an adult contract between people.

Stephen feels that in order to really be able to speak up you need to have the courage to have that conversation – to be disagreeable or to give critical feedback and have what it takes to get the words out. It might feel challenging but if you flip the script it’s not about being disagreeable, its about being respectful. You provide the opportunity to improve, to hear the feedback and action it.  Some leaders feel they are babysitting people at work, they feel it’s their job but don't realise the correlation between the way their team performs and their actions.

Stephen’s research project is looking at the interpersonal skills of leaders and psychological safety - that leaders who naturally possess these interpersonal skills will foster psychological safety and an environment where people can be more adult-like and contribute and communicate in a way that moves the organisation forward. He calls this Management Faciliative Interpersonal Skills. The starting point is to assess leaders and managers interpersonal skills then, through training and development, these skills can be improved.  Because these skills can be identified they can be made more tangible. Interpersonal skills are often described as soft skills but because they can be identified they can be assessed and then improved and measured through deliberate practice.

You can find out more about Stephen at zarango  A free psychological safety assessment for a team at zarango/freepsi

Stephens research study is about measuring the psychological safety of a team and the interpersonal skills of the leader of that team. If you are interested in volunteering to participate in the study please go to the Zarango contact page.

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information here. Our upcoming guest list is also available along with our previous blogs.
Find out more about our innovative Resilience and Burnout solutions.