Does narcissism decrease with age?

A recent study from the American Psychological Association has found that people tend to become less narcissistic as they age. The study which analysed data from 51 longitudinal studies, measured how the levels of narcissism in 37,247 participants (52% female and 48% male), from aged from 8 to 77, changed over time.

Three different types of narcissism were measured. Agentic Narcissism which includes feelings of grandiosity or superiority and a strong need for admiration. Antagonistic Narcissism which includes arrogance, entitlement, callousness and low empathy, and Neurotic Narcissism involves emotional dysregulation and hypersensitivity. Overall, it was found that all three types declined from childhood through to old age and also that differences among individuals remained stable over time, so that individuals who were more narcissistic than their peers during childhood tended to remain that way as adults.

There are a number of possibilities that could explain a decrease. As people grow older, they often become less self-centred, more focused on others and emotionally stable which would correspond to a reduction in narcissistic traits such as entitlement and self-absorption. Life experiences, such as forming relationships, raising children, and facing career challenges can increase empathy, patience, and a broader perspective which can also counteract narcissistic tendencies, whilst roles often taken on by older people such as caregiving and responsibility for others, promotes selflessness and concern for the well-being of others.

Cultural norms and expectations can also influence personality traits over a lifetime. In many cultures, older adults are expected to be wise, generous, and community-oriented, which can encourage a reduction in narcissistic behaviour. Social feedback and the need to maintain relationships may also push individuals to adopt more co-operative and less self-centred behaviours as they age. Psychological growth including increased emotional regulation and improved coping mechanisms can contribute to reduced narcissism whilst the biological changes in the brain related to aging can play a role in altering personality traits, including a potential decline in narcissistic tendencies.

Living or working with someone who has narcissistic trait can be challenging and this new research may have implications not only for the lives of the narcissistic individuals but also that of their partners, friends, and colleagues.  However, although the research found that on average, narcissism gradually declines as people age, it does also show that narcissism is a very stable personality trait and that it can take decades to see any change.

Ambiverts as leaders

Generally, people are thought to be either introverts or extroverts although most us sit somewhere along this spectrum. Whilst introverts enjoy peace and reflection and may be happier working on their own, extroverts thrive on being around people, engaging with others and enjoying social connection.

If though you possess both traits and can naturally shift your behaviour depending on the environment you’re in then you might be seen as an ambivert. Ambiverts have a balance of both introverted and extroverted personality traits so they may enjoy socialising and being around people, but also need time alone to recharge their batteries. They can be outgoing and assertive when needed, but also reflective and introspective when required. They are comfortable in a variety of social situations, but may also feel drained after extended periods of interaction.

They can also make good leaders and managers as they are adaptable to a variety of situations and can communicate effectively with different types of people. For example, they can be assertive and decisive when needed, but also listen to and empathise with their team members. They can balance the needs of the organisation with the needs of their team members, creating a positive work environment that encourages collaboration and productivity.

Ambivert leaders can also leverage their ability to connect with people to build strong relationships with stakeholders, clients, and employees, which can lead to better outcomes for the organisation. Additionally, they can be comfortable in both leading from the front and delegating tasks to others, which makes them well-rounded managers.

The downside is that ambivert leaders can sometimes struggle with decision-making because they may weigh both sides of an issue equally and find it difficult to choose a course of action. This can lead to delays in decision-making and inaction, which can be problematic in a fast-paced work environment. Another potential downside is that they can  sometimes struggle with prioritising their time and energy and, as they enjoy both socialising and spending time alone, they may find it challenging to balance their work and personal lives. Finally, possessing both introverted and extroverted traits, means they may need to adjust their leadership style depending on the situation so they may struggle to find a leadership style that works for them.

Overall, whilst there are potential downsides to ambivert leaders, these can be mitigated through self-awareness, effective time management, and a willingness to adapt their leadership style if and when needed.

The leadership journey

Lisa Marie Platske lives on an 86 acre farm in Kentucky and from there runs her own leadership and development company where she offers corporate retreats and works with leaders individually and in groups. Her belief is that most people want health, happiness success and meaning in their lives and that the meaning comes from contribution and the desire to make a bigger difference.

People talk about the idea of ‘bigger than myself’ and originally Lisa’s journey was thinking that leadership was very much tactical - you hire, you fire, you work in culture and change. She recognised over time that leadership is a very personal journey. When one doesn't take that journey personally and it is simply about the tactical there is something missing. When you ask about where does this idea of meaning and making a difference in the other and the group comes from, for her it came when she was interviewing leaders and asking what it was they did to be successful. She thought at the time it was about the tactical but came to recognise that each of the leaders took the journey themselves around planning and understanding their personality and creating partnerships.

Lisa also believes that sense of the collective and almost feeling an emptiness when the focus is solely on the self comes from recognising that we are part of the greater fabric of humanity. We are the behaviours we engage in; in how we think and in the actions we take. When somebody engages in their own leadership journey and comes to this awareness, there is more conversation as people move up that hierarchy of basic needs once those are met.

Lisa developed the 7 Pillars of Leadership from the interviews she did with leaders. Her career had been in Federal law enforcement and she didn’t have any background in business. When she started doing the interviews she wanted a short cut in business. What do the best leaders do?  How do they do it? Can this shorten my learning curve? The 7 Pillars came from themes and all start with the letter Plan, Personality, Partnerships, Priority, Presence, Progress and Personal and Professional Development.

You can find out more about Lisa Marie at www.upsidethinkinking

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