Negotiate differently

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Key Words

Resilience  - Negotiation – Conflict Resolution – Mindset – Authenticity – Bias – Cultural Difference

In this episode of Resilience Unravelled, Dr Russell Thackeray talks to Beth Fisher-Yoshida, a global expert and educator in intercultural negotiation and communication. She’s the program director of Columbia University’s Master of Science in Negotiation and Conflict Resolution and a negotiation consultant for the United Nations. IN this podcast Beth talks about how everyone can make a difference by being open to learning how to negotiate differently.

Beth talks about negotiation and conflict resolution and the importance of having a flexible mindset when operating in different cultures or dealing with conflicts, the challenges posed by media polarisation and the loss of objective news reporting. She also touches on the importance of debate and learning from arguments, even if one doesn't "win."

Beth highlights the importance of being open-minded, adaptable, and respectful in relationships and learning, the challenges of bias and cultural differences that affect negotiations and the different contexts in which negotiations occur. She also outlines the tools and skills necessary for successful negotiations as well as the need to be both a teacher and a learner. She then touches on the concept of authenticity, emphasising that it does not mean being uncontrolled or inflexible but rather embracing all facets of oneself while adapting to different contexts.

Main topics

  • The importance of having a flexible mindset when operating in a different culture

  • The importance of listening and considering another person's point of view

  • Tools and techniques for negotiation

  • The language of conflict resolution

  • The importance of debate

  • How you can learn from losing an argument

 Timestamps

1: Introduction - Russell Thackeray introduces Beth Fisher-Yoshida - 00:00-00:23
2: Background - Beth talks about her background and how she got interested in conflict resolution and negotiation - 02:02-03:29
3: Language and Conflict Resolution - Russell asks Beth about the development of language in conflict resolution and negotiation - 04:32-05:53
4: The Art of Debate - Russell and Beth discuss the importance of debate and the possibility of losing an argument while still learning from it - 08:21-09:01
5: Learning and Adapting - Russell and Beth talk about the different ways of learning and adapting to different cultures and environments - 11:23-13:42
6: New Story, New Power: A Woman's Guide to Negotiation - Beth talks about her book, New Story, New Power, and its contents and structure - 17:34-20:12
7: Negotiation Tools and Techniques - Russell asks Beth about some of the tools and techniques for negotiation that are discussed in her book - 20:20-21:17
8: Real-Life Examples - Russell Thackeray and Beth Fisher-Yoshida discuss some of the real-life examples of negotiation that are presented in her book - 21:17-22:45
9: Conclusion - Russell Thackeray and Beth Fisher-Yoshida wrap up the conversation and discuss how to find out more about Beth Fisher-Yoshida and her book 24:02-25:06

Action items

 You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information here. Our upcoming guest list is also available along with our previous blogs.
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Understanding and dealing with conflict

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Douglas E Noll or Doug Noll was born deaf, blind and unable to walk. He had four surgeries before he was three to enable him to walk and at school did not perform well until the fourth grade when a school nurse tested his vision and found he couldn't see.

Although he was raised in privilege and affluence, socially and emotionally had no support as his parents were distant and he was left to fend on his own. However, once he had glasses he did well at school, and high school, going on to Dartmouth College before attending law school in California. He initially worked for a judge before going into private practice to become a civil trial laywer. After twenty-two years, he went back to school to obtain a Masters in Peacemaking and Conflict Studies before quitting law practice in 2000 and becoming a peacemaker.

Doug now uses an advanced form of mediation to deal with conflict in law suits, litigation or disputes where people are so angry they would rather kill each other than sit down and talk! He helps to deescalate situations and calm people them down to help them work through the issues to build a durable peace. There are four basic ways to deal with human conflict. The first is coercion where one person tells the other person what to do. The second is litigation where you go to an outside authority such as a judge or arbitrator who has the power to decide whats going to happen. The third way is to go to mediation which allows the parties involved to still have the power to resolve the issue themselves but with an outside person to help them through a process that allows them to focus on the situation. The last way is negotiation. Most situations are resolved in this way but people often want to revert to coercion if they get too upset. Whatever the size of a dispute, the issue at hand is usually not the problem. Conflict generally arises because one or a combination of six needs are not being met. Doug calls these the Six Needs of Justice - Vengeance, Vindication, Validation, The need to be heard, The need to create meaning and The need for safety.

People generally prefer peace, and only involve conflict if they feel there is no other way to get resolution. As we don't like conflict we tend to avoid it so are not used to dealing with it when a major conflict occurs. Few people have any training in dealing with conflict and without it’s difficult to know how to deal with anger or upset without being triggered yourself. Listening other people is one of the key foundational skills of life because it helps in developing your own emotional database and is an antedote to getting upset or angry when someone starts yelling at you.

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about Doug here. Our upcoming guest list is also available along with our previous blogs.

You can find out more about Doug and his work at https://dougnoll.com/ HIs latest book is De-Escalate: How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less