Never good enough – recovery from an eating disorder.

Faith Elicia has been on a seven-year path of recovery from an eating disorder. Though it there have been many highs and lows, but most importantly, there have been opportunities for growth and change. Her new book, Do You See What I See? Is based on her experiences and follows her journey of recovery from her eating disorder.

Although not a professional in the eating disorder field, Faith has worked closely with psychologists and dieticians during her own recovery. She feels that anyone suffering from an eating disorder has a distorted body image of themselves and also uses maladaptive coping mechanisms to focus on food or their bodies rather than their feelings. It can appear as if they are functioning but their feelings are numbed because their focus is on binging, purging or restriction.

Faith feels that eating disorders are not really talked about as much as other addictive behaviour although there are some very sobering statistics with 9 percent of the U.S. population having an eating disorder in their lifetime. Eating disorders cross gender, race, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic groups and are among the deadliest of mental illnesses. Anyone caught in the downward spiral of continually obsessing about food, weight, and body image, needs support to free themselves from this dangerous illness. 

The most well known eating disorders are Anorexia, Bulimia and BES (Binge Eating Disorder) but there are a number of others. They can start for many different reasons but a common factor is some type of trauma. This could be emotional, physical or sexual but there is usually an internal belief that the person is not good enough. This belief can then morph into an eating disorder and this can sometimes occur in conjunction with another disorder such as anxiety

Faith’s Father was an alcoholic and although he sought recovery in later life in her childhood her was drinking and she was always in fight of flight mode from a young age. This led to deep routed emotional suffering which was hard to clear away. She depended on her mother emotionally and didn't believe she could do things on her own so no matter how in control she seemed externally, she felt completely different inside.

There are some professions, particularly those with a high media profile such as acting, where there is huge pressure on body image.  In America the ideal is to be very thin and there are constant messages to children that this is the norm. The obesity rate is very high in America and 7 or 8 year olds are talking about dieting to obtain the ‘perfect’ airbrushed images put forward as the ideal. It’s therefore important to use the right language, for instance that exercise is for the right reasons not for maladaptive reasons. It’s also important to be aware of what sites young people are looking at – sites that promote eating disorders and set a pattern that is very difficult to get over.

There are some noticeable signs that someone is suffering from an eating disorder.  Talking about their body a lot, skipping meals, picking around food, disappearing after meals and starting to exercise a lot are some of the more noticeable ones. But sufferers can be very good at hiding their problem and not letting other people know what’s going on.

Faith feels that the smallest things can be the biggest milestone, that small actions add up and can change thinking. It’s hard to believe you’re deserving when deep down you don’t believe it but practicing self care and gratitude has helped Faith change how she looks at herself and now knows that she ‘deserves it as much as anyone else’.

People not suffering from an eating disorder believe that saying “No!” to self-destructive behaviors should be easy but it’s not. It can be a daily struggle with no single solution. Instead it’s a journey of stops and starts but through learning various strategies it is possible to break its hold. 

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about Faith here. Our previous podcasts, upcoming guest list and previous blogs are also available.

You can find out more about Faith at faithelicia.com

Rewiring the brain. Self-talk, self-image and making it reality

The latest episode in our Resilience Unravelled series has now been released, Resilience Unravelled - Rewiring the brain. Self-talk, self-image and making it reality.

Steven Campbell was a University Professor and Educational Dean in Northern California for over 20 years. Having initially worked in hospital administration, he went on to take his degree in Computer Science before going on to teach Psychology. The message he shares with his students is that ‘while I’m talking to you you’re also talking to yourself but 1000’s of times faster ‘. When people talk to you they use words but when we talk to ourselves as well as words we also use pictures and feelings.

In 1961, Dr. Albert Ellis wrote a book called The Guide to Rational Living. In it he suggested that our feelings about ourselves don't come primarily from how we are raised or our successes and failures but from our beliefs about how we were raised or our successes or failures. Some people say they don’t know what to believe and Steven feels that we want to know what we believe, we need to listen to what we are saying to ourselves – our self-talk.

One of the most exciting discoveries that psychology has made is that our brain believes what we tell it, without question. Everything we do today is primarily based on what we say to ourselves about ourselves, today. We can change what we are saying to ourselves about ourselves and our brain just doesn’t care if what we say is true or not. You could say to yourself “I’m not very good at Maths’ and your brain will say “Yes, you’re right. You’re not good at Maths” and then it will look for other times you got something wrong. However, if you say “I really like Maths’ the brain says ‘OK’ and then looks for ways to show it. So, if we say “I really can do this” the brain will say, “Absolutely” and find ways of doing it. The principle is that our brain listens to us and rewires itself based on the messages we give it. This is neuroplasticity. The way we are today is primarily based on what we tell ourselves today. When we say something it is the brains job to make it true.

We all also have thousands of self-images. We have a self-image for every single thing that we do, for instance as a father, husband, grandfather, teacher, or singer. Some self-images are really strong and others less so, but we are not born with them, they are all learned.  We are also born with certain natural dispositions or things that we naturally love to do. We may have had to learn how to do it, but the learning isn’t hard because it was what we could do naturally. So, our self-images are learned from our self-talk and our self-images are based on what we are saying to ourselves about ourselves, today.

What holds us back from learning, growing and changing is ourselves. If we replace our self-talk we will then replace our self-images. The more we talk the more it will becomes a reality. We need to take our self-talk and use it to make it work. It’s not about just having an opinion. Rewiring the brain takes time because the brain doesn’t want to change, it wants to keep us risk free.

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about Steven here. Our previous podcast episodes, upcoming guest list and previous blogs are also available.

You can find our more about Steven at StevenRCampbell.com or find out about his book is Making Your Mind Magnificent – Flourishing at Any Age.