Integrating connections for well-being

Keywords

Resilience – Writing – Memory Consolidation – Cogent Narrative – Self-reflection Identifying Emotions – Developing Connections – Mental Constructs and Patterns

In this episode of Resilience Unravelled Dr Jacqueline Heller, MD shares her journey of writing a book following the grief from losing her mother. Jacqueline feels writing helped her consolidate memory and connect emotions to visual memory and in this podcast, she discusses the power of self-reflection through writing and emphasises the importance of identifying emotions for better judgment.

Main topics

• The benefits of writing for memory consolidation and creating a cogent narrative.

• How writing helps in self-reflection, identifying emotions, and developing connections to past experiences.

• The importance of managing emotions to prevent outbursts.

• How reflective writing helps in understanding automatic mental constructs and patterns.

Timestamps

1. Introduction. Introduction to the podcast and guest, Dr Jacqueline Heller, MD. 00.02 - 00:27.

2.The Power of Writing. The benefits of writing for memory consolidation and creating a coherent narrative. How writing became a cathartic and connecting process for Jacqueline. Writing as a tool for consolidating memory and connecting emotions to visual memory. 00.27 – 03.15

3. Reflective Communities and Parenting. Jacqueline's background in attachment theory and Reflective Communities. Bringing reflective parenting programs to schools. How Jacqueline's book is resonating with people and helping them 03.16 – 05.07

4. Self-Reflection and Introspection. Exploring the concept of introspecting and identifying emotions. The importance of identifying and understanding emotions for self-reflection. Connecting emotions and past experiences through writing. 05.08 – 08.28

5. The Process of Writing. The circular nature of self-examination and creating new connections through writing. Writing as a tool for developing new insights and connections over time. Managing emotions through writing and promoting higher cortical functions. 08.29 – 12.25

6. Personal Reflection and Journaling. Jacqueline's personal experience with mental journaling and reflection. The pressure to journal and the various forms of self-reflection beyond writing. 12.26 – 15.34

7. Writing Process and Book Creation. The organic process of writing Jacqueline's book. The importance of a well-being narrative and stability in one's self-story. Target audience and potential benefits of reading the book. 15.35 – 19.38

8. Book Overview. Jacqueline gives an overview of the book's content, including triggers, psychological principles, consciousness, and parenting. Chapters on defence mechanisms, cognitive distortions, and neuroscience of attachment. Example chapter "Dana's invisible trigger" and writing style. 19.39 – 25.37

9. Conclusion. Closing remarks and information on where to find Jacqueline's book and website. 25.38

Action items

• Jacqueline’s new book is, Yesterday Never Sleeps 

•  You can find out more about Jacqueline at jackieheller.com

   You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information here. Our upcoming guest list is also available along with our previous blogs.
Find out more about our innovative Resilience and Burnout solutions.   

Making it happen

Sam Syed is co-founder, CFO and COO at Capsll, an app that enables users to gather their once-scattered memories into digital time capsules. Sam was born in London and is one of six brothers from a working class family. He has a Portuguese and Pakistani heritage and became aware of racism at a young age. but feels this helped him build his resilience. He looked on himself as different but in a good way. He was the only coloured person in his group so any racial slurs toughened him up and made him a better person. His working class background also meant he grew up wanting things but didn't always get them. His friends all got weekly pocket money but he didn't and he quickly realised that he would have to break the mould so he could obtain things for himself.

Sam says he had a fantastic childhood and upbringing but is also thankful that it wasn't ‘silver spooned’ so that what he accomplished was from his own personal success. He thinks his biggest success is that he never settles and that he’s always looked for the ‘what if’. He started his career as an equity broker in London advising clients on Commodities, Equities and FX, eventually rising to the role of Derivatives Trader.

In 2012 he was offered a wealth management position in Dubai helping clients achieve their financial goals through all areas of wealth management. Originally he wanted to think about it but he now thinks it was the best decision he ever made. After building a successful career in Dubai he was then asked if he had ever thought about moving his career to Manhattan. He hadn’t but he was very curious and that was what took him to New York. The first year was very difficult. The salary he had been promised didn’t materialise and he was unable to move any of his clients from Dubai so he had to start from scratch but he managed to build a new ‘empire’ in New York and won some national awards. It was at this point that his long time friend Clint called him with an idea he wanted to run past him.

Sam’s passion for history and philosophy added to the lessons he had learnt as a boy and from the time he spent in Dubai and New York meant he was up for the challenge and he moved from managing other peoples wealth to having to create a new business. He feels that building from scratch is much harder. The challenges he faced during the start- up of Capsll App were completely different to those in the corporate world.  Having raised all their funding, he realised the things that he had left behind – the support from a mentor or boss, a calendar filled with what you should be doing and when which provides a routine and structure for each day.  

Sam feels you need external help and advice as well as internal support and help. There is a fear in the corporate world now that you can’t disagree with each other. But if you cant have disagreements then innovation and creativity disappear.  If you have different views or highly passionate and enthusiastic people conflict is inevitable. Companies need heated debate but also a way of not making things personal so you can see the point of the conversation in the first place.

Sam is now excited to be making a difference to people’s lives by utilising the Capsll App and helping them preserve memories of their legacy in a different way.

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information here. Our upcoming guest list is also available along with our previous blogs.

For more information, please visit https://www.capsll.app/

Your story matters

Clint Davis was born in South Africa but, after living in Dubai and Australia, he and his wife realised a decades-long dream of living in the USA when they won the Green Card Lottery, a 0.73% chance. He and his wife then moved to Los Angeles, and eventually settled in Austin, Texas.

Clint considers resilience to be one of our greatest characteristics. Living in different countries is not as glamorous as it sounds. Growing up in South Africa he learned about adversity quickly particularly because of the dynamic change from the apartheid system and the racial healing that had to take place over a number of years. Clint and his wife developed a mindset that helped them deal with the different changes and challenges that played out as they moved from country to country. Whether it was budgetary issues or fitting into different communities, their approach became ‘this is where we are’ ‘this is the decision we made’ ‘lets see this through’ and ‘how do we do it’ rather than ‘can we do it’.

Moving gives you the opportunity to reinvent yourself but it also allows you to leave things behind. The more you mature the more you want to leave certain things behind. In your youth, when you move from a country you want to hang on to every nostalgic artifact and relationship but the truth of ‘out of sight out of mind’ is a human fact when you live it and over several moves you can lose many relationships. The reinvention of self is hard to translate back to people if you don't see them face-to-face. When you move countries you have to reinvent yourself and Clint feels the expats who don't make it are the ones who wanted to hang on to their homeland ideologies and didn’t recognise that a new country and culture require them to change. If you can find the balance of your roots and pair it with where you are now you can become an interesting tapestry of a person.

Holding on to your past is important in terms of resilience as its part of who you are. You need to adapt it for the future though rather than simply preserving it. There is a constant battle about what you hang on to and what you let go. Nostalgia actually holds you back when it come s to engaging with a new culture and will hold relational growth back.

Different structures, careers, countries, environments, types of jobs and the entrepreneurial world all need resilience to know you are going to get things wrong so failure needs to be factored in as part of the build process. People define failure differently but Clint feels that if you need to look at each failure as a learning environment , to approach it with a willingness to fail and learn from it and the humility that comes with it. If you are emotionally healthy and stable, you know that what others see as failures, you recognise as lessons and you don’t see failure but growth.

Clint spent seventeen years in radio, broadcasting to four different countries and was also a high performance driving instructor at racetracks and skidpans. Additionally he was involved with freelance podcasting and interviewing and event management. Now with his company Capsil App, the biggest difference is that instead of just doing it and taking the risk for himself, he now has a team of co-founders so needs to keep them and their families in mind as well as the product users and their families.  He feels you need to make a shift from yourself to how your decision making, emotional intelligence and communication plays out not just to keep things pure but to make sure things are communicated correctly - the heartbeat that everything you created as this entrepreneurial version of yourself is actually relayed and received in the correct light of what you are trying to do.

Clint feels that while we live in a digital age, we have done a poor job in passing our personal histories on generationally because there isn’t a stable platform to keep them on. Capsil App is a new platform where users can gather their memories and life stories into digital time capsules with full user control so it can be shared privately with future generations or on an optional public feed to inspire others. It can also provide users with coached storytelling expertise who can help remember all the details and create a meaningful recount of your life events and memories.

For more about Clint or information about Capsil.App visit www.capsll.app/

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information here. Our upcoming guest list is also available along with our previous blogs.