Hamilton to heart attack. The theatre of perfection

The latest episode in our Resilience Unravelled series has now been released, Resilience Unravelled - Enjoy the experience as much as the result. Musical theatre and managing perfectionism.

Julian Reeve was a Music Director for over 25 years with a career that combined music and business and took him around the world.  He joined the Broadway team of Hamilton as Music Director and took it on it’s first national tour in 2017 before suffering from a heart attack which was triggered by maladaptive perfectionism. He is now based just outside Los Angeles where he is a perfectionism contributor, speaker, and author.

Julian started out as a musician before moving on to musical direction, which involves the running and creative upkeep of a show. Musical theatre can be seen to be a process rather than being creative as its essential to keep producing the same piece of music every night without mistakes to ensure the longevity of a show. The Musical Director also has to build team spirit and ensure high-level performance without burning out. Resilience is important. Julian feels you need to find the parts you enjoy and forget the bits you don't like to find the positivity which is the only thing that keeps you going. The Music Director is sometimes thought to be the least musical person in the room as their role is less about the music more about being the best leader and facilitator. Julian found his resilience by looking outside the box. He was always motivated by finding out what made his team tick and what got them to perform at their best every night. Even after five years on the same show you can still discover new things.

Julian had no idea he was a perfectionist until he was in his 40s. He suffered his heart attack 3 months after starting Hamilton and he feels his perfectionism was the cause. In his childhood he suffered from low self esteem and bullying, which led to bad lifestyle choices. Perfectionism has numerous explanations but research has shown it falls into two categories - adaptive and maladaptive. The adaptive part is what is recognised as good perfectionism, the part that gets good results, but the maladaptive side can lead to anxiety, depression, burnout and even suicide. Nothing is ever good enough. Perfectionists battle between the two and need to create equilibrium to regulate their experiences but this needs knowledge. We need to find a way to speak to perfectionists in a different way. They need self-compassion. This is made up of three elements, self-kindness, mindfulness and common humanity.

Julian now works with children and adults but his book is aimed at 6 to 12 year olds who can learn perfectionist behaviour in childhood. They need to develop self-management techniques. Warning signs include low self esteem, putting themselves down, mistakes being unacceptable, struggling to celebrate when they do well, fear of failure, all or nothing thinking and there only one way to do something.

Perfectionists need to learn self worth, to value themselves enough and to learn to love themselves.  They need to be able to say ‘I’m worth more than this’, to slow down and readdress. Perfectionism can be exciting if you can hone the gifts perfectionism gives you to the point where you become high performance.

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about Julian here. Our previous podcast episodes, upcoming guest list and previous blogs are also available.

You can get in touch with Julian at www.julianreeve.com or www.captain-perfection.com