A work in progress. Resilience to evolve and succeed.
/Martha Aviles is a marketing executive based in Austin, Teas. She has 20 years of high-tech marketing experience in SaaS, semiconductor, networking, and network security at start-ups, private, and public companies and has focused on impacting high-growth companies with innovative, measurable marketing strategies. Martha’s dynamic background is in leading and building high-performance marketing teams that include demand generation, integrated marketing, product marketing, digital marketing, public relations, brand management, analyst relations, and crisis communications.
Martha parents were Nicaraguan immigrants who arrived in Miami Florida in the 1970s. They didn't speak the language but they both worked really hard and became college graduates with her father becoming an electrical engineer. Martha was born and grew up in Miami before moving to southern California and then Austin, Texas in the early 90s primarily because it was developing into a tech hub. She didn’t want an engineering career for herself so became involved in technical marketing, the career she has pursued for the last twenty years.
When she was a child many people didn’t know that Nicaragua was a country let alone where it was. People would ask her if it was in Africa and when she said it was in Central America she would be told there was no such place. She got very tired trying to explain it so often just said she was from Cuba! Martha felt she didn't really fit in anywhere. In Miami she grew up with many Nicaraguans. Her first language was Spanish and she didn't even speak English until she was six but she always felt there was an American edge. Now though she feels she is a third culture child – she doesn't totally fit in either Nicaragua or the US but rather can fit in anywhere.
In Miami a lot of Cubans, Puerto Ricans and Nicaraguans stayed together. There were Nicaraguan restaurants that had been run by families for generations and these became gathering places. This was not the case in some of the other places she lived in. Her family moved a lot before she was twelve and when they eventually moved to Austin she realised there were not a lot of Nicaraguans in Texas. Martha feels that you can’t build that type of community and most of her friends were from other ethnicities such as Philippine or Vietnamese with immigrant parents and being a first generation American.
Houston is a very diverse ‘international’ city but other parts of Texas are far less diverse and are very ‘Texas Proud’. Martha found it a struggle because many people thought she was Mexican and that was particularly frustrating because it felt as if Mexican was only Hispanic culture. When Martha moved to Texas in 1986 she lived in a small town for a couple of years called Harper Heights where she got beaten up at school every day because she was the only brown kid. It was very challenging but she knew she was resilient as a child – she didn't know the terminology but knew she couldn't quit and that there was something better waiting on the other side.
Martha feels she had tenacity and stubbornness and that this built over time by having to deal with a lot of challenges. It’s something she still work on though - things keep getting thrown at you as you get older although you think you’re resilient enough and don't need another challenge! Children are often very resilient and Martha feels that there is an immigrant work ethic that tells you that you don't quit. She was also an oldest child so knew the pressure was on her to blaze a trail for the family in the US. This was difficult at times because her parents didn’t know what she was going through for the first time. She often asked why didn't they know about this or why didn't they give me the heads up about that until she realised it was up to her to make it easier for her family and sisters. Not wanting to disappoint her younger siblings did help build her character though.
Some parents expect their children to feel gratitude towards them. They say ‘look at what we’ve done for you’ but Martha’s parents used to tell her to remember her name and that she shouldn’t tarnish her reputation. Martha always felt this was very negative and not a good pressure and sometimes when she was a bit down her parents would say she was setting an example her sisters.
As an adult she now feels that what was a difference and a negative when she was a child is now her superpower and that it has given her an advantage in the real world. At college when she decided she was not going to be an engineer she realised she had a knack for people. She grew up feeling it was unsafe being who she was because of her skin colour, her language and lack of English and that to survive she had to figure people out very quickly. She had to adapt to stay safe so now feels that it really helps her in marketing – she can listen to people’s stories and get in their heads at a different level to other people. As she gets older she finds that she embraces her story and finds it empowering – it was a hard road to get there and to understand who she was and that's she’s OK with it.
Martha thinks that it she could go back and talk to her ten year old self that she would say a couple of things. One that its going to be OK because there were many times she couldn't see the path forward and two that she shouldn’t care so much about what other people think. However much you try to be a good person, you’re not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and that you shouldn’t waste a lot of time trying to get people to like you because it's a real waste of time. To navigate this path you need to understand what parts are mine to own and what parts can I lose. Martha still struggles and wants to be liked but different challenges and life has helped her realise that being a people pleaser doesn't work long term and that you will still get through even if everybody doesn't like or understand you.
To try to get ahead some female executives have developed social fluency, others a ‘bitch from hell’ persona whilst others try being a woman in a man’s suit. All are legitimate strategies but social fluency and being able to get on with people in a more adult and honest way of getting on. If you are agreeable it can be easier to get on in life but then people can be shocked when you do disagree about something and find it hard to take you seriously.
Martha feels that life is work in progress. Her background gave her goal metrics and an idea of where she was meant to be going and the points she needed to hit but then she realised that once she hit the goals there were still more challenges. Life is about evolving and facing challenges and continuing to broaden your knowledge to be a better person. This is a process that continues until we die so we need to look at it as a process and try to enjoy it rather than consider it a mountain to climb and once you reach the top its over.
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