Life in the Bipolar mind

The latest episode in our Resilience Unravelled series has now been released, Resilience Unravelled - Life in the Bipolar mind.

In this episode, Dr. Russell Thackeray talks to Bob Krulish who is based in Seattle, Washington. Bob suffers from Bipolar 1 Disorder that, due to a misdiagnosis, was untreated for a large part of his life.

Bob’s definition of Bipolar Disorder is that it is a mood disorder that ranges from mania to depression.  The mania symptoms include becoming very animated with expansive moods, having numerous ideas and projects on the go with lots of energy to pursue them, and not needing to sleep for days at a time.  The criteria and symptoms for the depression are the same as in major depressive illnesses - not being able to get out of bed, having no energy or joy and a lack of interest in anything, including the projects that were so important during the mania phase.  The mania and depression comes in cycles that need to be managed. With the right management, the episodes can become fewer and less severe.

Bob was 16 when he first started to have bizarre behaviours, but a doctor did not diagnose him until he was 51. Bipolar Disorder can make it very difficult to get through school, hold down a job or have a relationship. In Bob’s case he finished collage very late at 31 but as his degree was in Mathematics, he was able to find work in the insurance sector, first as an actuary and then as a product manager. He also married and started a family. Work was difficult though and he had to move from job to job because, as he spent more time with people, things would get worse. Eventually he was fired from his high profile job and he not only lost his job but his marriage of 24 years, children, and friends and eventually ended up homeless. He spent two years living off welfare, not working or seeing many people until he was finally diagnosed and started taking medications

There is some evidence that Bipolar Disorder is genetic. Bob’s father left his family when Bob was 16 but now, on reflection, Bob feels his father was Bipolar. If there is a genetic predisposition, a trauma or high level of environmental stress can trigger the Bipolar gene and, once it manifests itself, it becomes something that needs to be treated for life. There is also some correlation between Bipolar and high intellect, high functioning mathematical and creative abilities. Bob feels that during manic cycles people can accomplish incredible things that can move them into positions of importance, which they may not really be suited to.

Medication is the main treatment for Bipolar. Over the last 11 years Bob has used 20 different medications in 65 different combinations but over time and in close consultation with his doctor, Bob can now manage his cycles.  He has also undertaken talk therapy with a psychologist that has given him a greater insight into his illness and how to manage it. He has also developed some coping strategies. Triggers for cycles include stress and a lack of sleep so Bob now makes sure that he doesn’t allow himself to get into stressful situations and that he gets at least 8 or 9 hours of sleep each night. He has developed a more thoughtful and calm lifestyle at a slower pace and he starts each day with study and meditation at 4.30 to get into the day.  

A number of people who are Bipolar also have Anosognosia, a condition where a person can be cognitively unaware of having it due to damage to brain structures which leads to a deficit of self-awareness. This can make it even harder for people to realise they are Bipolar. Even without Anosognosia, during a manic cycle people will not feel there is anything wrong but this is the point where it is far easier for a doctor to make a diagnosis.

Bob’s book is called ‘When Screams Become Whispers’ and it is about the 35 years when he was undiagnosed and it aims to give readers an idea of what its like in the bipolar mind. Bob hopes that the book will help people who have symptoms get a sense of whether they might need to see a doctor – if you see yourself in book then you need to talk things through with someone. 

Bob now coaches individuals and families on how to live better with the disorder.

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about Bob here. Our previous podcast episodes and upcoming guest list are also available.

Please visit bobkrulish.com to learn more or his Facebook page Bipolar Solutions