Attitude to Gratitude. Turning a challenge into a benefit to others.

The latest episode in our Resilience Unravelled series has now been released, Resilience Unravelled – Attitude to Gratitude. Turning a challenge into a benefit for others.

In this episode, Dr. Russell Thackeray talks to Holly Bertone, the President and CEO of Pink Fortitude, LLC, and founder of Fortitude.Academy and the health and wellness website pinkfortitude.com. Holly spent the first 10 years of her career as a recruiter before becoming a Chief of Staff in the federal government service. As well as having a highly successful career, Holly took part in triathlons and was a mountain bike racer but she was diagnosed and treated first for breast cancer and then for the autoimmune illness, Hashimoto Disease. She is based in Alexandria, Virginia.

When Holly was diagnosed with breast cancer she was told ‘don't worry you have the good kind of cancer’.  Two days later her boyfriend proposed (they have recently celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary) and, having completed surgery, chemotherapy and radiation treatment, they got married 10 days after Holly’s treatment ended. Over the next year however she kept getting sicker and sicker and the following year was diagnosed with the autoimmune condition Hasimoto Disease. This can lead to a number of symptoms including fatigue, migraine and IBS that are sometimes manageable and sometimes debilitating.

An autoimmune condition is really a case of our immune cells doing what they should be doing. The body has too much inflammation in it and the autoimmune system is trying to calm it down and put the fire out. There are 80 – 100 autoimmune diseases and they can have varying symptoms such as debilitating fatigue, pain, rashes, IBS and migraines. The symptoms and severity are different from person to person.

Holly was still working full time and could still function but she self demoted herself to an analyst role to reduce the amount of stress she was dealing with. She investigated different ways of dealing with her condition but gratitude seemed to be the driver - you can wake up and be miserable about your condition or wake up and be thankful for what life has given you. Holly’s mother had been diagnosed with Addison’s Disease, an autoimmune illness and Holly recalls that her mother was always positive, saying that gratitude builds fortitude.  Going through tough times builds fortitude and being grateful builds fortitude. It can be transformative in the midst of storms.

We all need fortitude or inner strength. Every day we can choose to be a victim of circumstance or we can say ‘I’ve got this’.  Our day might not be perfect but we can take control of our life despite of what’s coming our way – we can deal with what we’re going through because we’re strong and have fortitude. It’s about having a mental narrative and giving ourselves positive messages. We're all really good at ‘talking bad to ourselves’ and telling ourselves that we’re not good enough. Holly feels we should talk to ourselves as if we were talking to a baby, a grandparent or a member of the clergy – with respect, kindness and lovingness. If we’re feeling bad at the start of the day, messages, a mantra or inspirational quote can help get through a tough time. It's a matter of finding what works for you

Holly feels that gratitude is the umbrella. A simple definition of gratitude is that it’s a state of being thankful, a place of joy or love.  A way of getting started would be to start to think about 3 things to be grateful for in the morning and 3 before you go to bed. Over time this gradually starts to grow and change your mindset. The benefits of gratitude have a scientific base. Dr. Robert Emmons is a leading expert on gratitude and he has undertaken a number of world studies on the link between gratitude and wellbeing. It has been established that practicing gratitude has 7 benefits. Gratitude can:

1. open the door to more relationships.

2. improve physical health.

3. improve psychological health.

4. enhance empathy and reduce aggression.

5. help people sleep better.

6. improve self-esteem.

7. increase mental strength.

Holly has turned two significant health challenges into a passion to help transform the lives of women struggling with chronic illness by sharing the power of gratitude.

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about Holly here. Our previous podcast episodes, upcoming guest list and full blog archive are also available.

You can get in touch with Holly through pinkfortitude.com or Fortitude.Academy 

Holly is also the #1 Amazon.com bestselling author of the book Thriving in the Workplace with Autoimmune Disease: Know Your Rights, Resolve Conflict, and Reduce Stress, the first book ever to educate others on Autoimmune Disease as a legal disability in the U.S. workplace.

Conflict of identity? Remember the mission.

The latest episode in our Resilience Unravelled series has now been released, Resilience Unravelled – Conflict of identity? Remember the mission.

 In this episode, Dr. Russell Thackeray talks to James Boardman a former Royal Marine Commando Sniper and Physical Trainer who served for eight years including some time in Afghanistan as part of a 6-man sniper team. He left the Royal Marines in 2011 to pursue a family life but struggled to come to terms with being back in a normal life, away from the military. Conflicting identities caused James to turn to drink and within three years he was divorced, on the verge of loosing his house, and struggling to find a path. Minutes away from attempting suicide James managed to pull himself away from this environment long enough to see a new path. In 2013 he started his first business, a fitness Bootcamp which he grew to a £100k a year business in its first year. In 2017, he started The Man Coach with the sole purpose of helping men become Elite Operators in life.

In this podcast, James talks about how he helps men to rebuild their lives and have a better state of mind through the way they live their lives emotionally, physically and mentally. He calls this an Elite Operating Mindset, an alter ego by which we set our standards to build the character, values and principles needed to perform in life for the four pillars of health, relationships, personal development and business. James originally started working with his clients on their fitness and nutrition but many seemed to fall off the programme. He started to consider why this was happening and realised that the chaos of life – responsibility, conflicting identity, direction – was what was stopping them.  He decided to change his tactics and concentrated on the key root of the problem, the level of control, consistency and clarity of where men were going.

James was in the Royal Marines for eight years and everything he talks about comes from his experiences. The mindset and processes he has are from what he has gone through and what he has used to get where he is today. He really loved being in the Marines but he left because he wanted to be a full-time Dad and role-model. He thought going back to normal life would be easy but he struggled with a conflict of identity. When he left the Marines he was a Sargent who was respected, was part of something, had purpose and mission and knew where he was heading.  When he left, everything from the last eight years was lost. He became a teacher at a college and there was a huge difference between teaching motivated recruits and 16-19 year old students. He didn't really settle in and considered rejoining the Marines but that fell through and within three years of leaving he was divorced, seeing his kids for half a week and suffering financial difficulties.  Things came to a head and one night he thought about ending his life. Instead he went out for a run for three hours and spent the time reflecting on his life. When he came back he had decided he wanted to turn things around.

Male identity can be a real problem. Many men get their sense of identity through their work. James feels you should replace identity with purpose, to ‘remember the mission' and have an emotional connection to an outcome. He feels motivation is an emotion like happiness or sadness that comes and goes and is not substantial enough to drive change. We need to decide what is our mission in life and create a ten-year vision within the four pillars of health, relationships, personal development and business. James also thinks we should work towards a 1% a day improvement so instead of acting emotionally and making changes for a few weeks and then stopping, we should try to reach long term control, clarity and consistency –1% a day over a year gives you a 365% improvement! Along the way there would be big wins and changes but resilience is also built so we have control of a situation and can deal with having one bad day.  The next day we just realign with the mission, we Learn- Grow – Repeat.

James had to rethink his purpose. He became involved in a dispute with the College he was working for and started doing some part-time work as a Personal Trainer. The dispute went through a grievance procedure but the relationship was unworkable so he left with a settlement. He saw it as an opportunity to change so although he knew nothing about working for himself he set up his own Bootcamp business. Six months into his journey he remembered what had happened before and saw how far he had come and how much further he could go in six years. He realised that he had allowed himself to let go of his life as a Royal Marine and that he had taken what he needed from that and become stronger, was happy with who he was and that he had moved on with his life.

James feels that people try to become best version of other people rather than themselves. It is easy to be influenced by social media and celebrity and take traits from each. When you have clarity you understand what success is to you and what is enough. The more you fail, the more you understand yourself and become more secure in who you are. What comes out of failure can be better.

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about James here. Our previous podcast episodes and upcoming guest list are also available. Our full blog archive is also available.

You can get in touch with James at The Man Coach  where you can access a free five day challenge and James’s Daily Rise to Thrive Facebook Show, his It's a State of Mind Podcast and The Man Coach YT Channel

Jame’s book It's a State of Mind Book is available at Amazon.

Building resilience for emergency responders.

The latest episode in our Resilience Unravelled series has now been released, Resilience Unravelled – Building resilience for emergency responders.

In this episode, Dr. Russell Thackeray talks to John Marx, the Executive Director of the Law Enforcement Survival Institute and editor of the law enforcement wellness website www.CopsAlive.com

John is based near Denver Colorado and is now a consultant and trainer who works with law enforcement officers and emergency responders to help them build their wellness and resilience - as their motto says, ‘Saving the lives of those who save lives’. John was a law enforcement officer himself for 23 years but by the end of his career he felt very burned out.

When he was a serving officer John contemplated suicide and he now realises that many other law enforcement officers, emergency responders, fire fighters and paramedics have the same thoughts. They see the worst of society and this takes a toll on the human spirit over time. John knew he was suffering so he chose to leave law enforcement and sought out help. He wanted to venture out on his own and do something different so he moved into a completely news environment. The suicide of an ex friend and colleague however, brought back many memories and made him recognise that there were many people who suffered in silence and had families and friends who didn't realise what they were going through.  John wanted do something to change this so decided to set up an organisation to provide consultancy and training services to develop the health and wellbeing of emergency responders.

Many of us get our knowledge of the emergency services from film and television. John feels that these capture a little about what these careers are like but although they do a good job in showing the fear and outrage that providers go through, they don't capture the ongoing stress generated from nurturing society’s ills. There is an underlying malaise that comes from having to deal with dreadful situations and people day in, day out.  John worked for some time as a community police officer so got to know people in his area. He felt it was important to know the people he served and believes believes this is how police officers should work.

John feels that everyone is born with some resilience but that it is also something we can build. In the emergency services resilience needs to be built because there are forces working against so there is a need to be prepared. Since the shift to remote working many people have found difficult switching between work and home. The relentless series of interactions makes it difficult to wind down. John uses a mechanism he calls a ‘buffer time or zone’ to change between work and home. Emergency responders see so much death, destruction, poverty and sadness that it is challenging not to bring it home. Many responders try to protect their loved ones from their experiences and this in itself can be very harmful.

John feels that being a serving police officer is a profession not just a job and there is a need to strive for excellence to be the best you can be and provide the best service to community. This need to be intentional is a mindset that we can programme though visualisation, positive affirmation and programming to build habits to intentionally improve ourselves. We need to be conscious of our habits because they can get locked so we need to break the pattern and stay in the present moment

You can listen to the podcast in full and find out further information about John here. Our previous podcast episodes and upcoming guest list are also available.

You can get in touch with John at:
www.LawEnforcementSurvivalInstitute.org
www.CopsAlive.com
www.ArmorYourSelf.com

How our narrative determines our choices.

The latest episode in our Resilience Unravelled series has now been released, Resilience Unravelled – How our narrative determines our choices.

Kimberly Spencer is an award-winning high performance coach and trainer, who is currently based on the Gold Coast of Australia. Originally from Los Angeles, Kimberly is also and Amazon best-selling co-author, international motivational speaker, and founder of CrownYourself.com where she helps visionary leaders build their empire and stand out in their full potential in their bodies, businesses, and relationships.

Kimberly’s uses her personal experience to inspire, motivate, and coach her clients using what she has learned from her personal development to help others to find their truth. She feels very strongly that we learn from different experiences and that in every problem there is an opportunity to grow.  The narrative we feed ourselves is incredibly important - the old adage of whether the news is good or bad comes back to the news being how we view it and what we decide it is.

She feels this also equates to the narrative of whether we see ourselves as a success or a failure. We all have successes and failures but we don't tend to share our failures so other people only see the successes. The link running through all our successes and failures is having the resilience to pick ourselves up and carry on. Our narrative also determines the choices we have and ultimately the control we have over our lives. We might not like some of the choices we are given and would prefer different options but we all have the ability to choose the attitude we take in that space. No one can take away the way we respond to a choice.

This power of personal choice is especially important to Kimberly as she grew up in a household with an addict father, which made her early home life very difficult. She realised she was a people pleaser so had to learn the importance of self-love. The pressure to be perfect can be overwhelming and cause people to blame themselves for just being human.  Often we link our personal value to something tangible. We need to get away from this external validation and external pleasing and not live our lives at the behest of other people.

Kimberly also talks about identity and how people attach it to things such as bank balances or weight. By attaching identity to the number on the scale, we are looking at it as the effect of choices that have been made. Having these choices allows us to be ourselves and, equally, making a choice not to do something is incredibly empowering because we’re cleansing ourselves and getting rid of things we don't want to do.

You can listen to the podcast in full here. Our previous podcast episodes and upcoming guest list are also available and there is an option to sign-up to receive our podcast episodes on release. Our full blog archive is also available and you can sign-up to receive these on a weekly basis.

You can find out more about Kimberly here.

How to survive a technology driven workplace.

The latest episode in our Resilience Unravelled series has now been released, Resilience Unravelled – How to survive a technology driven workplace.

In this episode, Dr. Russell Thackeray talks to Steve Prentice, a published author, keynote speaker, university lecturer, and full-time consultant to Fortune 500 companies. His specialty is explaining the practical and emotional impacts and benefits of technological change in regard to productivity, collaboration and life balance, and in providing practical steps to make these changes work.

Steve is interested in resilience from the standpoint of people and technology and how we manage the changes that technology brings. Although technology is a tool, we can struggle to use it. We need time to adapt and the speed of transformation over the last 25 to 30 years has overtaken our capacity for change. Our bodies haven’t learned to process the signals from technology such as the way we respond to light or even to the information itself. The false sense of urgency we feel to reply to an email immediately along can be manipulated by cyber criminals who use our response reflex to trick us into clicking a link to a piece of malware

Looking at the work scenario over the next five to ten years, Steve feels the soft skills of empathy and critical thinking will be key.  AI and robots will change some industries but the capacity to think critically will be essential to keep businesses safe. At the moment with so many people working from home, cyber security has become more important. Is the link between our home router and our place of employment safe?

A lot of people working at home have found they’ve been interrupted just as much as in the office. There have been too many Zoom meetings but Steve feels this is not the fault of technology rather our capacity to establish relationships to those making the bookings. The most powerful weapons in managing our time are being able to influence and relate to managers, customers and co-workers. Our calendars shouldn’t be telling us what to do but telling other people when we are available  

Technology means an increased speed of response is expected so it’s important to manage expectations. People get concerned if they don’t get a response straight away so we need to give them something tangible. An email saying you’ll reply within three hours or by the end of the day makes people feel more comfortable and provides a sense of structure.

There is a natural rhythm to work that has been disrupted by home working. At home we are always available. We go out for a walk at lunchtime but take our phone with us so can always be contacted.  We need to make sure we have structure to our day and have ‘time on and time off’. This can be difficult in some situations but even if we are in a continuous working environment we still have the capacity to hand over work. We need to choose this option even though it might be easier not to because it’s far healthier.

Digital literacy is the key to surviving a technology driven workplace. Information is universal and free and it’s essential to know how to keep pace with what’s important in the world.  We need to know what’s happening and have the ability to pull in information we can use for our education and career. The most important thing to remember though is that as with all information there is wheat and chaff. We need critical thinking so we consider where we get information from and question it before we connect with others.

You can listen to the podcast in full here.

You can find out more about Steve and sign up for his blogs and podcasts at steveprentice.com