If we take these four areas and put them through our ROPES model, we can begin to understand where your resilience is coming from and where it may be compromised.
R = Regulation Your ability to know yourself and manage yourself in the moment. To know whether you are perhaps overly critical about yourself or if your self-esteem is too strong. There are many self-aware people who can’t do anything with it, as they do not know how to manage themselves.
O= Optimism This is not positive mental attitude but your ability to make sure that you know where and how you are successful, this allows you to build your confidence.
P=Purpose Having the right purpose in life is about direction. Where am I going? What is my purpose? Do you have a sense of purpose in what you are doing?
Are you are in a job where you are fulfilled and satisfied? If it fulfills your sense of purpose and you are doing something useful, when a massive obstacle sits in front of you… you will have more energy because you know that in whatever you have to do, that job is taking you somewhere. If you are not the slightest bit interested and you have a set back, then you may just give up.
Part of energy encompasses some of the more traditional wellbeing elements like eating and breathing properly, mindfulness and sleeping well. These all help us create enough energy to optimise our brain.
S=Stamina Stamina is your ability to grit your teeth and get on with it, come what may. However difficult things seem, you have the capacity and energy to see things through. It is about having a stoic attitude to life as sometimes you will have to go to work and talk to people who may drive you nuts, but you just have to get on with it.
You can manage your energy in a way that enables you to keep going. It is about being stoic in your approach. Whatever change comes your way, I am going to control it, control myself and keep on performing. Resilience is about really knowing yourself, to know where your resilience is being compromised and to manage your energy to do the job you do.
Mental thinking and emotional strategies allow you to manage yourself, your stress (which is a positive as well as a negative thing), and turn all of that physical, mental and emotional wherewithal into your performance.
Your home and work lives both need to be optimised for you to get the best out of life. Being a good sales person is actually being a good person and having a good life.
If you work hard all day and are completely depleted when you go home – you need to be aware of where your resilience is being compromised. Is it because you are being knocked off course? Are your emotions wearing you out? Are you stresses? Are your skills levels too low? Have you lost confidence because you have not won a deal lately? You need to do the right diagnosis to treat the right symptom.
What can deplete your resilience?
Recognise that stress is a physiological reaction driven by the hormone cortisol. Some stress is good but when stress gets out of balance it is extremely bad for you. One of the best ways to counter stress is to understand that it is generated through a lack of control or a lack of choice. It is mitigated by exercise and actually getting on with things. Being focused on your bodily reaction to what is going on in the world is a very sensible thing to do. We all know when we are feeling stressed because you feel it in your body.
In life generally, one of our biggest problems is anxiety. It is an emotional reaction, the fear of the unknown, which is stimulated by issues that we can’t control. Anxiety needs to be sorted out quickly because it has a physiological effect on your brain. Strategies help you think strongly and build your intellectual toughness and rigour. Mindfulness, is not woolly but a brain training method (tested by the US military) that allows you to get in control of your thoughts. If you have insufficient oxygen to your body you can’t optimise your brain and get a grip of yourself. With some people retraining the way you breath has a massive effect.
If you become anxious after loosing confidence you may begin to loose sleep. Once you loose sleep you become more anxious. You need to ask what is the thing you can change?
Some people do not eat properly, so they do not have the right amount of nutrients to optimise their energy and brain activity. Others may find that their emotions begin to run so their resilience gets harmed as their mind is elsewhere.
Some people are pessimistic, believing tomorrow is always going to be worse. Confirmation bias is our brains ability to find supporting evidence around something that we believe. Once we believe things are going to get tough then they do. If people can understand this state they can move on.
Maybe if you are miserable and going home depleted everyday, maybe you are board and are not getting the level of challenge you need. Or it could be the reverse that the challenge is too big for your competence, so you have to raise your skills level to be able to deal with it.
You may already know where your resilience is being compromised, as you may find patterns in your life where your performance dips at a certain time for a certain reason. If a particular person leaves you feeling stressed then you need to re-calibrate your attitude to those sorts of people.
There is no one size fits all answer, as resilience is made up of lots of different facets. But broadly good nutrition, sleep and mental toughness are great things to aim for and improve upon.
Come and measure your own resilience, we have a coaching programme that allows you to do this. www.personalresilience.com/coaching/