Jay Papasan wears multiple hats but he is primarily a highly successful American writer and Business Executive. Jay and his business partner Garry Keller, have published around 14 books in the last 12 years. The Millionaire Real Estate Investor became both a New York Times best-seller and a BusinessWeek best-seller, and The ONE Thing, reached No 1 on the Wall Street Journal business best-seller list.
When Jay joined Keller Williams Realty back in 2000 and worked in the tech department, the firm grew very quickly to become one of the largest real estate firms in the world. Gary the founder shared Jay’s passion for writing, so their partnership began. They have written numerous real estate and investment books and grown successful businesses in these areas.
The chance people that Jay met and those he hung out with made a huge impact on him. Every time Jay thought ‘big’ in his life, Gary has shown him that he should think bigger, explore more things and take action!
There are always bumps along the way and Gary’s encouragement was to fail faster. As long as we are learning from our failures… that is called growth. Jay feels he has made more mistakes than most people but he sees that as a byproduct of trying more things.
The first investment he tried in a house had a hidden problem – that cost him a lot of money that he had not budgeted for. He didn’t technically make any money but he chose to look at it as getting a paid education. He learned a lot of hard lessons.
The point is that people who are resilient make mistakes and go back to make different ones. Jay feels that the heart of it is to fail fast and own your mistakes.
If you chose to be the author of your own life, and take credit for all of the good and the bad that shows up, you are actually choosing to be in control. The moment you say this happened to me or they happened to me… and you do not hold yourself accountable, you risk becoming a victim.
If you don’t recognise your DNA in the issue then you are bound to repeat it. If you look up and choose to see things differently then you usually get better results over time.
Resilience Author Carol Dweck, sees that a growth mindset is all about embracing failure and moving through it. Failure does not say anything about you unless you quit.
The ability to rebound faster and to be more resilient can actually be a learnt trait. Like many writers Jay use to be completely neurotic and suffered from imposters syndrome when it came to failures. There were plenty of days when he is about to walk on stage and he thought OMG I am just about to embarrass myself beyond belief, but the more you expose yourself to those situations and find out that you do actually survive, you begin to bounce back faster.
You may have to go through the five stages of grief but it is how long you stay in the first four stages that maters. Jay now feels that even if he gets thrown a curved ball, he can move through it faster than he could 10 years ago.
You have to be flexible. There was an occasion when Jay was on the 37th daft of a chapter – he gave it to Gary to read, who then put it face down on the table and said ‘you know that is great work… but I think we need to start over from scratch’. At that time Jay was devastated but he has learnt that you could put a lot of work into salvaging something useful out of what you have done or just start over a fresh…. which is much faster. If you can do this relatively quickly without a lot of emotion, you will be able to improve faster.
That frankness in a relationship allows you to get an honest perspective as getting feedback is important. Jay has a coach and has found that an invaluable relationship. Resilient people surround themselves with these sorts of relationships as using coaches or mentors is a great way of getting stuff off your chest, reflecting and helping you think differently.
If you really want to be extraordinary at something you are going to need more than what you are able to bring to the table. Coaches, mentors and great friendships allow you to fail faster, learn and grow.
Listen to our full podcast with Jay Papasan who goes on to talk about the secret of ‘The ONE Ting”!
Read his latest book: The One thing by Garry Keller and Jay Papasan
You can also find him on Facebook and Twitter:
Or visit his website: http://jaypapasan.com/