Jackie Rainford very kindly recorded a podcast with QED. She is a L&D consultant who coaches in career development and management training for organisations and also has great success and impact when coaching privately.
Coaching helps people who are stuck in some way…. helping them move from where they are now, to where they want to be. Some people just don’t know where they want to be, so Jackie uses tools to help reach a decision and helps put ideas and plans in place around how they are going to get there.
Resilience, for Jackie, involves people knowing and managing themselves well. She finds some coachees very resilient and others very capable but unsure of where to go next.
Do you get stuck in the experiences you have and let events define you?
Jackie believes that people make choices to stay in these “difficult zones”. She mentioned a great story about a young man who had trouble attending meetings at work and this was holding him back. He truly believed that those at the meetings were thinking critically about him. Jackie used coaching to talk about situations and gave him lots of positive feedback. His task was then to go to a meeting and watch the responses of people to the small inputs that he made. He learnt that when you speak, most people actually want you to succeed and they were not thinking bad things…. he just got caught up with his own perception of the event.
Jackie has had her fair share of challenges growing up with epilepsy and anxiety and feels that she has come out stronger because of it. Anxiety can cause real problems making you want to disappear from whatever is making you anxious, so you have to know yourself well enough to look after yourself in those moments. Jackie likes to keep her mind full of activity and tries very hard not to overthink things.
Confidence and resilience are very closely linked, so what is confidence? and is it often misread? If we see confidence as showmanship – being loud, funny and telling stories … this can knock some people back. Confidence is more of an inner core, so that you have a calm and quiet demeanor. After all it can be very powerful when people quietly make a point.
Jackie is passionate about the huge amount of confidence that work experience or volunteering can bring – helping us grow and engage with others. If we make mistakes, its ok – we can learn from them and roll with it. This experience Provides many skills such as communication, relationship building, team work or dealing with the public and provides support however you are feeling.
How do you turn yourself around when things go wrong?
Jackie finds that it really helps talking to people who you trust. One or two friends that really know you well warts and all. So she talks about things, thinks about things and writes them down. She often writes a list of pro’s and con’s when making decisions and when she has made that decision, Jackie does everything that she can to make it work. It helps to analyse the situation, make a choice, stick with it and get on with it. She has got great stamina!
It’s very comforting to know that Jackie feels she is still “work in progress” and has not got it all right!! …. I think that that’s the whole point of resilience. We should not be aiming for perfection, just to deal with things and be the best that we can be.
If you want to talk further with Jackie you can find her on Linkedin or email Jackie@rainfordtraining.co.uk